Hungering for God

You know that feeling when you're really hungry? 

Your stomach aches with emptiness. All you can think about is food. Every billboard. Every commercial. Every post on Facebook. They're all about food! And, it all sounds so good! 

But, have you ever gotten past that point of extreme hunger? 

The ache goes away. The awareness of all the food around you goes away. Sometimes food doesn't even sound good anymore. Sometimes you have to force yourself to eat even if it doesn't sound good because you know your body will need the energy later. 

Practicing the disciplines has shown me that hungering after God is not so different from hungering after food. 

I need God, and I want Him. But, once I've let that need and that desire go unattended--after I've passed the point of feeling that hunger for Him--my ache for Him goes away. I start to lose my awareness of Him. And, sometimes being with Him doesn't even sound good. 

But, most of the time, I don't respond with Him the way I do with food. With food, I say, "I should eat even though I don't feel like it right now because I know I'll need the energy later." With Him, I say, "I shouldn't force myself to do it if I don't want to because it's not genuine, and I would be trying to make myself righteous by obeying the law."

I'm realizing that that's terrible logic that is keeping me from growing spiritually. 

By telling myself that I shouldn't spend time with the Lord because I don't feel like it, I'm making myself a slave to my feelings. And, I'm failing to recognize that my spirit needs to feast on the Bread of Life to be able to bear fruit whether I feel like it or not. I'm also failing to realize that I will almost always feel like being with Him once I've tasted a bit of His goodness. 

The reality is that I'm not trying to make myself righteous by spending time with the Lord when I don't want to. I know that simply going through the motions of a "quiet time" or "devotions" with the Lord is not enough. Instead, I'm making myself do what I don't want to do because I know that my feelings now are not reflective of the truth (i.e. I do desire the Lord even though I don't feel like it), because I know that my spirit needs the Lord, and because I have faith that my desire for Him will follow.