Martyrdom. Is it meant for all? Or only the radical? Only Jesus' disciples? Only Mother Teresa? Only the missionaries?
"Anyone who does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Matthew 10:38-39
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." -Galatians 2:20
Martyrdom is meant for all. For the radical. For his disciples. For Mother Teresa. For the missionaries.
For the average. For all.
Martyrdom is meant for me.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
In the last month and a half...
Alright, I am going to attempt to update everyone on what has been occurring in Spain in the last month and a half since I haven't blogged at all! :)
We started regular classes at the center. During the month of September, I was only taking an intensive language course. Now I am taking 5 classes in Spanish about the culture, literature, variations of the language, etc. They are going really well. I am a little nervous though because we have only 2 tests in each of them. If I do poorly on them, I will do poorly in the classes. Uh oh! The tests are next week, so I am going to spending this week studying all of the time!
Church is spectacular! I love the body that God has placed me with here. They are such a family. There are many of us guiris (international people) here, but they have welcomed us with open arms. I have been singing with the praise band here, which has been a delight. We had an evangelistic concert a couple of weeks ago in which the choir and the praise band sang and the hip hop dance group performed. So awesome! I just got back yesterday from our fall retreat with the youth. We went to a camp in the mountains near Malaga. It was such a great weekend of fellowship with one another as well as a weekend of huge challenges in the faith. We had a minister from Sevilla come and preach about Romans 12:2. We talked about how we are called to get out of the church essentially. It was especially convicting when he asked us to raise our hands if we had not been raised in a Christian family or raised in the church. Only 6 out of 75 raised their hands. There is something wrong with that picture. We are not called to be salt and light to our Christians friends. We are called to be salt and light to the world. He challenged us to pray long and hard for God to show us how he has gifted us to serve the lost. Then GO! :)
This week I am starting to volunteer with an organization here in which I will be spending a couple hours a week with people (mainly elderly people) in hospitals just keeping them company. I am really excited. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.
The Spanish is getting much better! This is terrible, but for about the first month and half, I barely spoke outside of class. I was too embarrassed and nervous to make mistakes. But, in the last 2 weeks, I have made friends with some Spaniards who have helped bunches. Once you get to know people, and they understand your level of Spanish it isn't nearly as hard to talk. :)
Today is a national holiday. Everyone goes to the graves of people that they knew and leaves flowers, etc. As a result, we don't have school. Therefore, I am blogging! But, right now, I need to get some major reading done for my literature class. It takes about 10 times as long to read in Spanish as it does in English! :)
I miss and love you all dearly! Keep leaving comments, I want to hear from you!
We started regular classes at the center. During the month of September, I was only taking an intensive language course. Now I am taking 5 classes in Spanish about the culture, literature, variations of the language, etc. They are going really well. I am a little nervous though because we have only 2 tests in each of them. If I do poorly on them, I will do poorly in the classes. Uh oh! The tests are next week, so I am going to spending this week studying all of the time!
Church is spectacular! I love the body that God has placed me with here. They are such a family. There are many of us guiris (international people) here, but they have welcomed us with open arms. I have been singing with the praise band here, which has been a delight. We had an evangelistic concert a couple of weeks ago in which the choir and the praise band sang and the hip hop dance group performed. So awesome! I just got back yesterday from our fall retreat with the youth. We went to a camp in the mountains near Malaga. It was such a great weekend of fellowship with one another as well as a weekend of huge challenges in the faith. We had a minister from Sevilla come and preach about Romans 12:2. We talked about how we are called to get out of the church essentially. It was especially convicting when he asked us to raise our hands if we had not been raised in a Christian family or raised in the church. Only 6 out of 75 raised their hands. There is something wrong with that picture. We are not called to be salt and light to our Christians friends. We are called to be salt and light to the world. He challenged us to pray long and hard for God to show us how he has gifted us to serve the lost. Then GO! :)
This week I am starting to volunteer with an organization here in which I will be spending a couple hours a week with people (mainly elderly people) in hospitals just keeping them company. I am really excited. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.
The Spanish is getting much better! This is terrible, but for about the first month and half, I barely spoke outside of class. I was too embarrassed and nervous to make mistakes. But, in the last 2 weeks, I have made friends with some Spaniards who have helped bunches. Once you get to know people, and they understand your level of Spanish it isn't nearly as hard to talk. :)
Today is a national holiday. Everyone goes to the graves of people that they knew and leaves flowers, etc. As a result, we don't have school. Therefore, I am blogging! But, right now, I need to get some major reading done for my literature class. It takes about 10 times as long to read in Spanish as it does in English! :)
I miss and love you all dearly! Keep leaving comments, I want to hear from you!
I love Paris!
After our adventures in Rome, we headed to Paris. Can I just say that I LOVE that city! I want to live there so bad, and I can't wait to learn French. :) I bought a French phrase book, and I am starting the learning as we speak...or well, write.
The first day we were in Paris, we went to the Louvre. It was HUGE. We were only there for three, and only saw about 12 famous works. They said that if you stopped and looked at every work for 2 minutes, it would take you 6 months to see everything! Most famous things we saw: the Mona Lisa and Aphrodite. The Mona Lisa is surprisingly small. It is only like 18 inches by 12 inches or something. Still pretty cool to see it in person though. (Obviously, I am not an art guru.) Aphrodite was a statue without arms. I need to do more research before I can really appreciate it!
That first night, we went on a boat cruise around Paris. It was beautiful. Everything in the city is lit up!
The next day it rained horribly. We were going to a walking tour throughout the city, but the weather just didn't cooperate. We left the tour (I felt so bad for the tour guide! I know how that feels!), and did some souvenir shopping. Then we went to see the Notre Dame. By this time, this was like our 10th Cathedral. They start to look the same. However, this one had a lot more stained glass windows, and they were extremely intricate. We left there, got some lunch, and headed to the Arc de Triumph. So cool! It is much bigger than it appears in pictures. In the afternoon, Alicia (my roommate) and I headed outside of the city on the RER in order to go to the nearest Build-A-Bear. She collects them, so she had to get one to commemorate her time in Europe. It was a fun little adventure.
That night, we went to the Eiffel Tower. I was speechless. It is really beautiful for just being a metal tower. :) It sparkles every hour, so we watched it and took some pictures, then went up to the top of the tower. It is incredibly high up. All of the biggest buildings look like teeny tiny miniature models. The tower wobbles a bit on time especially because it is extremely windy up there. Still terrific though!
I tried to make this one a bit shorter than the last one! Hope you enjoyed the summary! Miss you guys!
The first day we were in Paris, we went to the Louvre. It was HUGE. We were only there for three, and only saw about 12 famous works. They said that if you stopped and looked at every work for 2 minutes, it would take you 6 months to see everything! Most famous things we saw: the Mona Lisa and Aphrodite. The Mona Lisa is surprisingly small. It is only like 18 inches by 12 inches or something. Still pretty cool to see it in person though. (Obviously, I am not an art guru.) Aphrodite was a statue without arms. I need to do more research before I can really appreciate it!
That first night, we went on a boat cruise around Paris. It was beautiful. Everything in the city is lit up!
The next day it rained horribly. We were going to a walking tour throughout the city, but the weather just didn't cooperate. We left the tour (I felt so bad for the tour guide! I know how that feels!), and did some souvenir shopping. Then we went to see the Notre Dame. By this time, this was like our 10th Cathedral. They start to look the same. However, this one had a lot more stained glass windows, and they were extremely intricate. We left there, got some lunch, and headed to the Arc de Triumph. So cool! It is much bigger than it appears in pictures. In the afternoon, Alicia (my roommate) and I headed outside of the city on the RER in order to go to the nearest Build-A-Bear. She collects them, so she had to get one to commemorate her time in Europe. It was a fun little adventure.
That night, we went to the Eiffel Tower. I was speechless. It is really beautiful for just being a metal tower. :) It sparkles every hour, so we watched it and took some pictures, then went up to the top of the tower. It is incredibly high up. All of the biggest buildings look like teeny tiny miniature models. The tower wobbles a bit on time especially because it is extremely windy up there. Still terrific though!
I tried to make this one a bit shorter than the last one! Hope you enjoyed the summary! Miss you guys!
When in Rome...
So, we are back-tracking a little bit here. :) At the end of September and beginning of October we had a week off of school in which 10 of us girls went to Rome and Paris. It was amazing! So amazing in fact, that I didn't really now how I could condense it all into one blog. :) But, here goes!
In Rome, the first night we were there we did a night walk around the city. We saw the Trevi fountain and the Spanish Steps (in Italy...I know) as well as some of the more famous buildings such as the Pantheon (from the outside of course). We also made a wonderful stop at the world-famous gelato shop Giolitti's. Sooooo good! I even made friends with one of their Italian waiters. haha! He gave us special seats inside, kissed me on the cheek like 4 times, and kept saying, "Ciao, Bella!" Oh, dear...it was a riot.
The second day, we went to the Colisseum in the morning. What history! Wow. I can't believe how old it is and the activities that took place there. They told us that throughout history there were "only 80" people who died, but on one of the sides of the Colisseum they erected a cross years later to commemorate the people who lost their lives. Also, fighting as a gladiator to the death was a way for slaves to be freed. If they won, they were free. I also found it interesting that the games were a sort of political propaganda for the emperor who wanted to make the citizens feel like they had power as the sort of "god" of the games. The emperor had the opportunity to give mercy to the gladiators and let them go without dying at any point in the fights. He would put his hand up in a specific gesture that would signify mercy or no mercy. However, he would purposely choose whatever the crowds did not want, then the crowd would shout, and he would change the decision. This of course made the crowd feel as though they had power over all including the emperor and the life or death of the gladiator. Interesting.
To kill some time, we headed to St. Peter in Chains Church which houses Michaelangelo's Moses (a HUGE sculpture of Moses) as well as the supposed chains of Peter when he was imprisoned and the angel came and freed him without the guards taking notice. It was so strange to be in all of these places that are from the Biblical time period. Seeing as the history of the United States is relatively young, it was hard to imagine how long ago all of this took place.
We walked across the stones to Domitian's old palace which now lies in ruins as nothing more than some pillars and half stone walls. This palace in its day was covered completely in marble and was the most beautiful site in all of Rome. Interesting fact about the marble: Domitian was so paranoid of being murdered he had the marble polished daily so that he could see the reflection of any attacker at any moment. Ironic fact: He was killed by his wife. The palace sat on the highest hill for all to admire. However, when the 'Christians' and barbarians entered and conquered Rome, they destroyed everything and took all of the marble for the Vatican City. (Not so surprisingly, the Roman citizens do not have a high opinion of the Vatican City.) Seeing this "palace" reminded me of just how utterly short our time is here, and just how true Christ's words are: "Do not store up your treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven." Domitian's life looks pretty sad from today's point of view.
We ate a crazy little Italian restaurant that wouldn't let us share our food with one another, but we did it anyway. haha! Then we went to an elevator that goes to the top of a building which is the highest point in Rome. We took a look at the city for bit, and then headed to see the Pantheon which is the only building in its time that wasn't destroyed during the invasions. Inside is the painter Raphael's grave.
Oh dear, this blog is getting long. Sorry, I didn't think there was this much to write! Well, to sum up, the following day we went to the Vatican City and saw St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican Museum, but no Pope. There was a heck of a lot of marble and really expensive artwork (especially for a church to have)! :) My sentiments in leaving the Vatican City: I sometimes wonder if we aren't missing the point of the church when we are storing up our treasures on earth just as much as everyone else.
Well, this was pretty much my three day trip to Rome in a nutshell. I think I only left out a couple of details. haha. If you wanna know more, just comment! :) I will be sure to make the following blogs shorter, so people actually read them and get to the bottom to read things like what I am writing now. haha. Thanks for reading!
In Rome, the first night we were there we did a night walk around the city. We saw the Trevi fountain and the Spanish Steps (in Italy...I know) as well as some of the more famous buildings such as the Pantheon (from the outside of course). We also made a wonderful stop at the world-famous gelato shop Giolitti's. Sooooo good! I even made friends with one of their Italian waiters. haha! He gave us special seats inside, kissed me on the cheek like 4 times, and kept saying, "Ciao, Bella!" Oh, dear...it was a riot.
The second day, we went to the Colisseum in the morning. What history! Wow. I can't believe how old it is and the activities that took place there. They told us that throughout history there were "only 80" people who died, but on one of the sides of the Colisseum they erected a cross years later to commemorate the people who lost their lives. Also, fighting as a gladiator to the death was a way for slaves to be freed. If they won, they were free. I also found it interesting that the games were a sort of political propaganda for the emperor who wanted to make the citizens feel like they had power as the sort of "god" of the games. The emperor had the opportunity to give mercy to the gladiators and let them go without dying at any point in the fights. He would put his hand up in a specific gesture that would signify mercy or no mercy. However, he would purposely choose whatever the crowds did not want, then the crowd would shout, and he would change the decision. This of course made the crowd feel as though they had power over all including the emperor and the life or death of the gladiator. Interesting.
To kill some time, we headed to St. Peter in Chains Church which houses Michaelangelo's Moses (a HUGE sculpture of Moses) as well as the supposed chains of Peter when he was imprisoned and the angel came and freed him without the guards taking notice. It was so strange to be in all of these places that are from the Biblical time period. Seeing as the history of the United States is relatively young, it was hard to imagine how long ago all of this took place.
We walked across the stones to Domitian's old palace which now lies in ruins as nothing more than some pillars and half stone walls. This palace in its day was covered completely in marble and was the most beautiful site in all of Rome. Interesting fact about the marble: Domitian was so paranoid of being murdered he had the marble polished daily so that he could see the reflection of any attacker at any moment. Ironic fact: He was killed by his wife. The palace sat on the highest hill for all to admire. However, when the 'Christians' and barbarians entered and conquered Rome, they destroyed everything and took all of the marble for the Vatican City. (Not so surprisingly, the Roman citizens do not have a high opinion of the Vatican City.) Seeing this "palace" reminded me of just how utterly short our time is here, and just how true Christ's words are: "Do not store up your treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven." Domitian's life looks pretty sad from today's point of view.
We ate a crazy little Italian restaurant that wouldn't let us share our food with one another, but we did it anyway. haha! Then we went to an elevator that goes to the top of a building which is the highest point in Rome. We took a look at the city for bit, and then headed to see the Pantheon which is the only building in its time that wasn't destroyed during the invasions. Inside is the painter Raphael's grave.
Oh dear, this blog is getting long. Sorry, I didn't think there was this much to write! Well, to sum up, the following day we went to the Vatican City and saw St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican Museum, but no Pope. There was a heck of a lot of marble and really expensive artwork (especially for a church to have)! :) My sentiments in leaving the Vatican City: I sometimes wonder if we aren't missing the point of the church when we are storing up our treasures on earth just as much as everyone else.
Well, this was pretty much my three day trip to Rome in a nutshell. I think I only left out a couple of details. haha. If you wanna know more, just comment! :) I will be sure to make the following blogs shorter, so people actually read them and get to the bottom to read things like what I am writing now. haha. Thanks for reading!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Beauty of the Body
"No hay nadie como tú, sólo Cristo. Moriste por mi en la cruz. Viviré para alabar..."
"There is no one like you, Christ alone. You died for me on the cross. I will live to praise you."
Church today was marvelous. The people have such a passion for Christ and for being living examples of his love in the world today. They are unbelievable welcoming to us as international students even though we are only here for four months. They constantly say that we are is the town of God, the church of God, the people of God regardless of where we are from. They have people from all over the world in this church. This is the way heaven will be! I want to stay longer than just four months! :)
We went out to lunch at a Chinese restaurant with the youth. It was terrific! We got to practice Spanish for hours upon hours! My brain hurt so badly afterwards though. It is really difficult to try to think in another language. It wears me out! :)
Things are going quite well here. God is so faithful. I spent time in prayer prior to Friday's class, just trying to refocus on what is important. That class was by far the best one yet. I started off the class by telling the teacher that I didn't understand one of the grammatical topics; she, of course, explained it, and it went spendidly from there. :)
Yesterday, we visited the Alhambra which was so beautiful. It is a Moorish castle built by the Muslims hundreds of years ago. Despite its age, it is in beautiful condition, and it unbelievably detailed with beautiful tile walls and ceilings. Check out my pictures on Facebook if you want to take a peek at this historical masterpiece. (Sounds convincing, doesn't it?) Here's one pic just to wet your appetite:
"There is no one like you, Christ alone. You died for me on the cross. I will live to praise you."
Church today was marvelous. The people have such a passion for Christ and for being living examples of his love in the world today. They are unbelievable welcoming to us as international students even though we are only here for four months. They constantly say that we are is the town of God, the church of God, the people of God regardless of where we are from. They have people from all over the world in this church. This is the way heaven will be! I want to stay longer than just four months! :)
We went out to lunch at a Chinese restaurant with the youth. It was terrific! We got to practice Spanish for hours upon hours! My brain hurt so badly afterwards though. It is really difficult to try to think in another language. It wears me out! :)
Things are going quite well here. God is so faithful. I spent time in prayer prior to Friday's class, just trying to refocus on what is important. That class was by far the best one yet. I started off the class by telling the teacher that I didn't understand one of the grammatical topics; she, of course, explained it, and it went spendidly from there. :)
Yesterday, we visited the Alhambra which was so beautiful. It is a Moorish castle built by the Muslims hundreds of years ago. Despite its age, it is in beautiful condition, and it unbelievably detailed with beautiful tile walls and ceilings. Check out my pictures on Facebook if you want to take a peek at this historical masterpiece. (Sounds convincing, doesn't it?) Here's one pic just to wet your appetite:
Thanks for the prayers! He is faithful when we believe! Love and miss you all!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Culture Shock?
Shocking, isn't it? Unfortunate as it is, I think I have experienced a little culture shock these last few days. I think it was really a culmination of things: getting laughed at when I used Spanish incorrectly, getting scolded for going out for chocolate and churros after a big dinner, not having a community of believers here, missing my family, etc. All of these events escalated to the point of tears at the lunch table yesterday.
Originally, when I got here, I knew my Spanish wasn't perfect, but I thought I could use it well enough to communicate. However, once I got here and used my Spanish in class and learned what was correct and incorrect, my perfectionist side kicked in. I hate making mistakes. (I know, I know...major issue...need to get over it...gonna make them my whole life...haha). Suddenly, after having been laughed at for saying I had my throat taken out instead of my tonsils...oops!...I realized just how much I was butchering the language, and I didn't want to use it anymore! Besides, it was much easier to use English. You don't have to think so hard!
Additionally, my señora got really upset with me the other night because I told her that I was going for chocalate and churros after I had eaten a huge dinner. I found out that that is not the way it works in Spain. She explained to me for ten minutes or so in a raised tone and at a faster pace than usual that you eat that instead of dinner because it is so heavy. She said I should have told her I was doing that, and then I shouldn't have made dinner. Oops. I am a people pleaser, and I get really shaken up when I feel like I have disappointed someone especially authority. I wanted to cry.
Because I haven't had the Internet at my house, it has been very difficult to stay in contact with my family back home. We have been emailing somewhat, but they are short and definitely don't convey all that I want to tell them. To see lots of our other friends getting on Skype freely with their friends and family has been hard. I miss you mom and dad! :)
Again because of the Internet situation, I had a really hard time getting a hold of Cortney and Miguel, the missionaries here. However, we did randomly end up at the right church on Sunday due to its location near our house, and it was great to be a part of a community again. I really really want to get plugged in there soon. So far, they said that students are really returning until October, so it doesn't look like things will start until then. I need to be a part of a body here desperately.
All of these crazy circumstances culminated to the point of tears yesterday at lunch when my señora gave me two huge porkchops and half a plate full of green beans, and I couldn't finish eating it all. I told her I was full, and she said it was because I had gone out for chocolate and churros the night before. She said I had eaten way too much and that is why I still wasn't hungry. I proceeded to tell her that I thought it was because there was so much food on my plate. I told her that until that point I had been eating everything on plate because I thought it was rude not too. But, I said I was leaving every meal feeling sick because I had eaten so much. Of course, this was when the tears started to flow. She told me to stop crying because I look ugly when I cry (she was laughing when she said this...but, the Spaniards are blunt...haha). She said that I should have said something before that because she thought I just ate alot! :) She said she would start giving me less food. Yay! I said I was sorry, and she said it was okay because we just didn't know one another's customs. She gave me a hug, and then I went back to my room and slept. :)
Since the tears flowed yesterday, things seem to have gotten better. I still have a hard time talking in Spanish with people and in class because I don't want to make mistakes. I also still really want to get involved in our church. Please continue to pray for these things. I have been blown away in these past few weeks with how God answers prayer. We have such power when we have faith that He is able to supply our needs. Keep praying. I love and miss you all!
Originally, when I got here, I knew my Spanish wasn't perfect, but I thought I could use it well enough to communicate. However, once I got here and used my Spanish in class and learned what was correct and incorrect, my perfectionist side kicked in. I hate making mistakes. (I know, I know...major issue...need to get over it...gonna make them my whole life...haha). Suddenly, after having been laughed at for saying I had my throat taken out instead of my tonsils...oops!...I realized just how much I was butchering the language, and I didn't want to use it anymore! Besides, it was much easier to use English. You don't have to think so hard!
Additionally, my señora got really upset with me the other night because I told her that I was going for chocalate and churros after I had eaten a huge dinner. I found out that that is not the way it works in Spain. She explained to me for ten minutes or so in a raised tone and at a faster pace than usual that you eat that instead of dinner because it is so heavy. She said I should have told her I was doing that, and then I shouldn't have made dinner. Oops. I am a people pleaser, and I get really shaken up when I feel like I have disappointed someone especially authority. I wanted to cry.
Because I haven't had the Internet at my house, it has been very difficult to stay in contact with my family back home. We have been emailing somewhat, but they are short and definitely don't convey all that I want to tell them. To see lots of our other friends getting on Skype freely with their friends and family has been hard. I miss you mom and dad! :)
Again because of the Internet situation, I had a really hard time getting a hold of Cortney and Miguel, the missionaries here. However, we did randomly end up at the right church on Sunday due to its location near our house, and it was great to be a part of a community again. I really really want to get plugged in there soon. So far, they said that students are really returning until October, so it doesn't look like things will start until then. I need to be a part of a body here desperately.
All of these crazy circumstances culminated to the point of tears yesterday at lunch when my señora gave me two huge porkchops and half a plate full of green beans, and I couldn't finish eating it all. I told her I was full, and she said it was because I had gone out for chocolate and churros the night before. She said I had eaten way too much and that is why I still wasn't hungry. I proceeded to tell her that I thought it was because there was so much food on my plate. I told her that until that point I had been eating everything on plate because I thought it was rude not too. But, I said I was leaving every meal feeling sick because I had eaten so much. Of course, this was when the tears started to flow. She told me to stop crying because I look ugly when I cry (she was laughing when she said this...but, the Spaniards are blunt...haha). She said that I should have said something before that because she thought I just ate alot! :) She said she would start giving me less food. Yay! I said I was sorry, and she said it was okay because we just didn't know one another's customs. She gave me a hug, and then I went back to my room and slept. :)
Since the tears flowed yesterday, things seem to have gotten better. I still have a hard time talking in Spanish with people and in class because I don't want to make mistakes. I also still really want to get involved in our church. Please continue to pray for these things. I have been blown away in these past few weeks with how God answers prayer. We have such power when we have faith that He is able to supply our needs. Keep praying. I love and miss you all!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Everyday Life
First of all, I apologize for those of you who have been trying to follow what I am doing here in Spain through my blog. I don't have the Internet in my house. I have to pay to use the wi-fi at cafes which makes blogging somewhat difficult because it takes so much time. Anyway, I think I found a place with free wi-fi now, so hopefully it will be much easier!
Life in Spain is delightful. I was actually having a somewhat difficult time at first though. Most of my trips to other countries have been somehow tied to missions; however, this trip is obviously quite different. I told many of you that I had gotten in contact with some missionaries over here who said that they could hook me up with their church. Well, because of conflicts with schedules and general difficulty with using different modes of communication (i.e. not the Internet), I could not get a hold of them for the first week that I was here. I was really really missing my family and community back home. I felt very disconnected and spiritually like I was waning here. Luckily, two of the girls in my group live on a street where there is a church, so on Saturday we decided to just go there Sunday morning since we hadn't heard from the missionaries. So, we went. Lo and behold, it was the missionaries' church! Hooray! It was amazing! I have never been so filled with joy to be in the presence of other believers all worshiping Jehovah Jireh, the God Who Provides. :) We met the missionaries afterward, and they introduced us to Jota who is in charge of the youth activities. He told us he would get our emails and keep us informed about what is going on. He also said that they have about 140 students involved. They have services Saturday nights and Sunday morning and they eat meals together every week after both. Hallelujah! That is what I call communion. :) What a tremendous blessing this Sunday was for us. Before, I was feeling like these four months were
going to be long, but now I am sad that I am leaving in December! God is faithful. :)
General everyday life is great as well. We started classes last week. We are only in the intensive language course right now. This will last through the last week of September. It hasn't been to bad thus far. There are some things that are different grammatically here. They use the preterite perfect a heck of a lot more than we are used to in Latin American Spanish. They actually use it more than the indefinite preterite. That is taking some adjustment, but I'll figure it out at some point. I have actually been surprised with how much Spanish I have been able to understand. I still have a hard time producing language quickly though. I get caught up on the verb conjugations. :) Anyway, after this language intensive course, we have a week off during which we are going to Italy and France! So excited! We just booked our 5 flights yesterday, and it totalled under $180!!! Ridiculous! I can't wait...clearly. Anyway, I will be taking 5 Spanish classes after we get back from our trip. It shouldn't be too bad.
Home life is super fun. Our señora is so sweet and is such a wonderful cook! :) We do eat ALOT. But, I have tried to run at least a few times a week. We also walk miles a day to and from school, so hopefully it won't be too terrible. :) The Spanish schedule is the college student's dream. Spaniards don't wake up until 9, 10, or 11. They eat maybe some bread for breakfast, but have lunch around 2:30 (on the early side). They then take a siesta for about 2 hours partially because they are so stinkin' full and partially because it is so stinkin' hot! It is over or close to it 100 almost every day. It doesn't feel too bad; you just sweat alot. haha. Then they have dinner around 8:30 (again, on the early side), and perhaps they go out afterward. It's really a beautiful thing. Although I do feel like they days slip by, but all I did was eat and sleep. I need to figure out how to fix that! :)
Well, classes are going to start soon, so I have to get going. Thanks for reading and thinking of me while I am away. I really miss you all so much!
Life in Spain is delightful. I was actually having a somewhat difficult time at first though. Most of my trips to other countries have been somehow tied to missions; however, this trip is obviously quite different. I told many of you that I had gotten in contact with some missionaries over here who said that they could hook me up with their church. Well, because of conflicts with schedules and general difficulty with using different modes of communication (i.e. not the Internet), I could not get a hold of them for the first week that I was here. I was really really missing my family and community back home. I felt very disconnected and spiritually like I was waning here. Luckily, two of the girls in my group live on a street where there is a church, so on Saturday we decided to just go there Sunday morning since we hadn't heard from the missionaries. So, we went. Lo and behold, it was the missionaries' church! Hooray! It was amazing! I have never been so filled with joy to be in the presence of other believers all worshiping Jehovah Jireh, the God Who Provides. :) We met the missionaries afterward, and they introduced us to Jota who is in charge of the youth activities. He told us he would get our emails and keep us informed about what is going on. He also said that they have about 140 students involved. They have services Saturday nights and Sunday morning and they eat meals together every week after both. Hallelujah! That is what I call communion. :) What a tremendous blessing this Sunday was for us. Before, I was feeling like these four months were
going to be long, but now I am sad that I am leaving in December! God is faithful. :)
General everyday life is great as well. We started classes last week. We are only in the intensive language course right now. This will last through the last week of September. It hasn't been to bad thus far. There are some things that are different grammatically here. They use the preterite perfect a heck of a lot more than we are used to in Latin American Spanish. They actually use it more than the indefinite preterite. That is taking some adjustment, but I'll figure it out at some point. I have actually been surprised with how much Spanish I have been able to understand. I still have a hard time producing language quickly though. I get caught up on the verb conjugations. :) Anyway, after this language intensive course, we have a week off during which we are going to Italy and France! So excited! We just booked our 5 flights yesterday, and it totalled under $180!!! Ridiculous! I can't wait...clearly. Anyway, I will be taking 5 Spanish classes after we get back from our trip. It shouldn't be too bad.
Home life is super fun. Our señora is so sweet and is such a wonderful cook! :) We do eat ALOT. But, I have tried to run at least a few times a week. We also walk miles a day to and from school, so hopefully it won't be too terrible. :) The Spanish schedule is the college student's dream. Spaniards don't wake up until 9, 10, or 11. They eat maybe some bread for breakfast, but have lunch around 2:30 (on the early side). They then take a siesta for about 2 hours partially because they are so stinkin' full and partially because it is so stinkin' hot! It is over or close to it 100 almost every day. It doesn't feel too bad; you just sweat alot. haha. Then they have dinner around 8:30 (again, on the early side), and perhaps they go out afterward. It's really a beautiful thing. Although I do feel like they days slip by, but all I did was eat and sleep. I need to figure out how to fix that! :)
Well, classes are going to start soon, so I have to get going. Thanks for reading and thinking of me while I am away. I really miss you all so much!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Un Día Perfecto
Today was a perfect day. This morning we caught the bus by our house to head to the bus station. From there we bought our tickets for Salobreña. After about an hour long bus ride, we arrived. Oh, where, did you ask? Oh, just the Mediterranean! Indescribable! I spent my day basking in the rays of the beautiful Mediterranean sun and swimming in its crystal clear waters. Our señora packed us some bocadillos and fruit for lunch. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend my first Saturday here. There were a few cultural differences (like the fact that many of the women were topless!), but it was certainly not enough to inhibit our wonderful day at the beach. Terrific. As we sat on the beach, we thought about how guilty we felt that our friends were back home doing homework. No good. L I also sat on the beach thinking about just how much of God’s creation I have never even seen. Today was just one small check on the list of the millions of places he has handcrafted. Brilliant. Today was a perfect day.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
The Wonderful World of Spain
On a much lighter note than my last blog, I am currently studying abroad in Spain! The picture to the left was taken at the only Egyptian temple in Madrid. In the background is the Royal Palace and the Cathedral.
I flew out of the States on Wednesday and arrived here on Thursday afternoon just in time for siesta (nap time). :) We have spent the last few days just exploring Madrid. We had an orientation to our program yesterday which included a walking tour of the city. It was really awesome to hear the history of the city. We actually walked through the Today they sent us on a scavenger hunt around the city. We were able to use Spanish more often than just in restaurants, and we got to see more of Madrid that we otherwise would have.
The schedule here is going to take some getting used to. Nothing starts at night until like 9pm. 10pm is really the prime time for dinner. People usually go out to the bars (note: these are not like our bars; they have coffee, etc. and more of a lounge and chat atmosphere) around 12am and then to the discos (dance clubs) around 2am. Whew! Especially with the jet lag, I am pooped! They really don't get anything started though until like 10 or 11 am, so that helps.
Tomorrow we leave from here to take a train to the city we will actually be studying in. Thus begins the actual school part. We will have orientation at the center and take a proficiency test in order to determine which classes we will be taking. Hopefully that goes well. Little nervous. I have gotten to practice some though. It is kind of frustrating though because if you stumble in trying to use your Spanish, the natives automatically start speaking in English to you. Sometimes you just have to keep going in Spanish even though they are constantly responding in English. haha. I hear that the city I am studying in is not quite as bad though because it is smaller. Not as many people know English, so you are forced to use Spanish.
Well, that is all the update that is going to give for now, because I am missing siesta to write this. I need a nap!
Friday, August 28, 2009
God, Break My Heart
"God, break my heart for the things that break Yours."
As I look back at that prayer written at the beginning of the summer, I am blown away at just how He answered it in a far more radical way than I ever dreamed. This prayer and God's answer have changed my whole world view, and how I must live. When my heart is aligned with His, my actions are too. God's heart is about reconciling all things whether things in heaven or things on earth to Himself (Col. 1). This is what my heart must be about. Very simply, this means that I must live redemptively. My major in college must redeem all things to God. My career after college must redeem all things to God. My conversations with all people must redeem all things to God. My discipline of my children (when/if I have them...haha) must redeem all things to God. Wow. That changes things.
Beyond seeing that aspect of God's heart, my heart was truly broken by His heart for the poor and the oppressed. I have always known that Jesus cared for the poor, but I didn't realize just how close they are to His heart and just how much it pains and angers him to see us disregard them. I cannot believe how much of the Bible is about loving the poor, the orphans, the widows, the strangers in a foreign land, the wanderers, etc.
Isaiah has so many verses in which God blasts the Israelites for their lack of concern for the poor. Specifically, Isaiah 58 really convicted me this summer. Essentially, the Israelites claim they are following God's laws of fasting, and they complain that God is not listening to their cries even though they are obeying him. But, God explains the fasting that he truly desires which is "to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke, to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter. When you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood." The Gospels are absolutely filled with accounts of Jesus hanging out the "least of these," but condemning the Pharisees for their pious hypocrisy and refusal to associate with people of low position. This summer we also looked at Luke 4 in which Jesus stands in the synagogue and opens to Isaiah 61 and reads from the scroll proclaiming that the Lord has anointed him "to preach good news to the poor...to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (See Lev. 25) Wow! If that is Christ's mission statement, how much more should that be ours if we claim to be his followers? And these two Scriptures don't even scratch the surface of how much the Lord desires His people to live out His love for the poor and the oppressed.
I saw just a glimpse of just how much our consumerism and selfishness and pride and entitlement and jealousy hurt God. Jesus said that they will know we are Christians by our love (John 13:35), but I have not had a love that is any different. I haven't had a love that does "nothing out of selfish amibition or vain conceit, but in humility considers others better than myself" (Phil. 2). I haven't had a love that sees the least of these brothers of mine and feeds them, clothes them, or visits them in prison. I haven't had a love that crosses the cultural and social boundaries of race and status like Jesus did with the woman at the well. I haven't had a love that chooses to drive a run-down car or wear old clothes in order to meet the needs of others. I haven't had a love that sells everything and gives to the poor (Luke 12:33). I haven't had a love that never judges or thinks evil thoughts of any child of His. I haven't had a love that obeys Jesus commands at all.
In fact, I have been more like "my sister Sodom" which was destroyed by fire in the Old Testament because "she and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me" (Ezekiel 16:49-50). I have been so consumed with what I have and with the necessity of getting my own needs met that I have not even turned to see if my neighbor's needs have been met. But, isn't that the second greatest command? To love my neighbor as myself? And didn't Jesus say not to worry about what I will eat or drink, but to seek first the kingdom and all these things will be added? Do I really believe that? Because I haven't lived like it.
But, now that I know the good I ought to do, I must do it. Christ calls me to the narrow way, and I must follow. He calls me to take up my cross daily and to die to my own desires. That is where life is more abundant. That is where I will receive 100 times more in this present life and in the life to come (Mark 10:30).
He has called. I can do nothing but follow. I am but a humble servant.
As I look back at that prayer written at the beginning of the summer, I am blown away at just how He answered it in a far more radical way than I ever dreamed. This prayer and God's answer have changed my whole world view, and how I must live. When my heart is aligned with His, my actions are too. God's heart is about reconciling all things whether things in heaven or things on earth to Himself (Col. 1). This is what my heart must be about. Very simply, this means that I must live redemptively. My major in college must redeem all things to God. My career after college must redeem all things to God. My conversations with all people must redeem all things to God. My discipline of my children (when/if I have them...haha) must redeem all things to God. Wow. That changes things.
Beyond seeing that aspect of God's heart, my heart was truly broken by His heart for the poor and the oppressed. I have always known that Jesus cared for the poor, but I didn't realize just how close they are to His heart and just how much it pains and angers him to see us disregard them. I cannot believe how much of the Bible is about loving the poor, the orphans, the widows, the strangers in a foreign land, the wanderers, etc.
Isaiah has so many verses in which God blasts the Israelites for their lack of concern for the poor. Specifically, Isaiah 58 really convicted me this summer. Essentially, the Israelites claim they are following God's laws of fasting, and they complain that God is not listening to their cries even though they are obeying him. But, God explains the fasting that he truly desires which is "to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke, to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter. When you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood." The Gospels are absolutely filled with accounts of Jesus hanging out the "least of these," but condemning the Pharisees for their pious hypocrisy and refusal to associate with people of low position. This summer we also looked at Luke 4 in which Jesus stands in the synagogue and opens to Isaiah 61 and reads from the scroll proclaiming that the Lord has anointed him "to preach good news to the poor...to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (See Lev. 25) Wow! If that is Christ's mission statement, how much more should that be ours if we claim to be his followers? And these two Scriptures don't even scratch the surface of how much the Lord desires His people to live out His love for the poor and the oppressed.
I saw just a glimpse of just how much our consumerism and selfishness and pride and entitlement and jealousy hurt God. Jesus said that they will know we are Christians by our love (John 13:35), but I have not had a love that is any different. I haven't had a love that does "nothing out of selfish amibition or vain conceit, but in humility considers others better than myself" (Phil. 2). I haven't had a love that sees the least of these brothers of mine and feeds them, clothes them, or visits them in prison. I haven't had a love that crosses the cultural and social boundaries of race and status like Jesus did with the woman at the well. I haven't had a love that chooses to drive a run-down car or wear old clothes in order to meet the needs of others. I haven't had a love that sells everything and gives to the poor (Luke 12:33). I haven't had a love that never judges or thinks evil thoughts of any child of His. I haven't had a love that obeys Jesus commands at all.
In fact, I have been more like "my sister Sodom" which was destroyed by fire in the Old Testament because "she and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me" (Ezekiel 16:49-50). I have been so consumed with what I have and with the necessity of getting my own needs met that I have not even turned to see if my neighbor's needs have been met. But, isn't that the second greatest command? To love my neighbor as myself? And didn't Jesus say not to worry about what I will eat or drink, but to seek first the kingdom and all these things will be added? Do I really believe that? Because I haven't lived like it.
But, now that I know the good I ought to do, I must do it. Christ calls me to the narrow way, and I must follow. He calls me to take up my cross daily and to die to my own desires. That is where life is more abundant. That is where I will receive 100 times more in this present life and in the life to come (Mark 10:30).
He has called. I can do nothing but follow. I am but a humble servant.
Last Mission Indy Week
Whew! The last week of Mission Indy...again...where to begin???
This fourth week was at Englewood Christian Church on the near east side of Indianapolis. We interns actually stayed at the mission house next door instead of at the church with the groups. This was the same place that we had stayed during our first week in Indy. It was pretty awesome to get to finish where we started. You know us English majors...we like it when things come back full circle. Gives us a sense of security and completion. I guess the non-postmodern ones like that anyway...haha. Okay, enough about English.
We had groups during this week from Knoxville, TN, Florissant, MO, Clinton, IN, and one other city in Indiana that I can't remember...oops. I can remember the group just not their town. Anyway, I was with First United Methodist Church from Clinton, IN. They were great. We worked on a member of Englewood's home just a few blocks from the church. This had been a previous Mission Indy house, but had not gotten finished the year before. We arrived thinking that we really only had to do some touch ups on soffit and then the back of the house, but soon realized that the group from last year had some how neglected to prime anything which meant that all the paint was peeling off. Ahh!!! What a nightmare! We had to rescrape, reprime, and repaint over the whole house! We had intended to only be there for 2 days and then move onto a different project, but we ended up staying the whole week and still having more to be done. Lesson learned. Preparation is 70% of painting. Even though it is a pain, I would much rather do it than come back a year later only to find that it all needs to be rescraped and repainted.
One blessing of the week was that the leader of the youth group, Ed, had a great deal of carpentry experience. He was able to do far more on the house than we ever thought possible. He replaced an entire wall from the inside to the out including putting up new siding on the north side of the house. He also replaced boards on the bottom of the east side of the house which were completely rotted. This was a great help to Ron who otherwise would have had to do that himself.
The week was great. The kids were great workers most of the time...haha...and it was a delight to get to work along side them and get to hear what they were learning. I also got to spend a lot of time with the 4 year old neighbor Ben. So precious! He rode on my shoulders and helped me facilitate the worksite. :)
God worked in huge ways throughout the summer. So many, that I am totally unaware of as well. He had things prepared for use before we even knew that we needed them. My next blog will be about some of the major things that God taught me throughout the summer. The challenge will definitely be making it short enought that people will actually read it! haha.
This fourth week was at Englewood Christian Church on the near east side of Indianapolis. We interns actually stayed at the mission house next door instead of at the church with the groups. This was the same place that we had stayed during our first week in Indy. It was pretty awesome to get to finish where we started. You know us English majors...we like it when things come back full circle. Gives us a sense of security and completion. I guess the non-postmodern ones like that anyway...haha. Okay, enough about English.
We had groups during this week from Knoxville, TN, Florissant, MO, Clinton, IN, and one other city in Indiana that I can't remember...oops. I can remember the group just not their town. Anyway, I was with First United Methodist Church from Clinton, IN. They were great. We worked on a member of Englewood's home just a few blocks from the church. This had been a previous Mission Indy house, but had not gotten finished the year before. We arrived thinking that we really only had to do some touch ups on soffit and then the back of the house, but soon realized that the group from last year had some how neglected to prime anything which meant that all the paint was peeling off. Ahh!!! What a nightmare! We had to rescrape, reprime, and repaint over the whole house! We had intended to only be there for 2 days and then move onto a different project, but we ended up staying the whole week and still having more to be done. Lesson learned. Preparation is 70% of painting. Even though it is a pain, I would much rather do it than come back a year later only to find that it all needs to be rescraped and repainted.
One blessing of the week was that the leader of the youth group, Ed, had a great deal of carpentry experience. He was able to do far more on the house than we ever thought possible. He replaced an entire wall from the inside to the out including putting up new siding on the north side of the house. He also replaced boards on the bottom of the east side of the house which were completely rotted. This was a great help to Ron who otherwise would have had to do that himself.
The week was great. The kids were great workers most of the time...haha...and it was a delight to get to work along side them and get to hear what they were learning. I also got to spend a lot of time with the 4 year old neighbor Ben. So precious! He rode on my shoulders and helped me facilitate the worksite. :)
God worked in huge ways throughout the summer. So many, that I am totally unaware of as well. He had things prepared for use before we even knew that we needed them. My next blog will be about some of the major things that God taught me throughout the summer. The challenge will definitely be making it short enought that people will actually read it! haha.
Catching Up on Mission Indy
Wow...I have been done with Mission Indy now for almost a month, but I haven't blogged about the last two weeks. Sorry about that. Where to begin, where to begin.
Well, the last week at Shepherd was totally different than any of the others, but was still enjoyable just the same. The kids got to go to a basketball camp run by a former NBA player known as Big Ray. People from the community also donated money for all of them to get a basketball ball with new basketball clothes, socks, and Adidas shoes. They were so excited when they found out that they actually got to keep everything. Every back contained a personal letter from the person who donated the money.
The girls and the boys were separated for basketball camp which was helpful for organization, but that also meant that I didn't get to see the boys all week. :( I really missed them. The mornings for the girls were the pretty much same as all of the other weeks. We had an hour of worship and some free time outside. But, then instead of Bible study and devotions, we had to get them all changed into their basketball clothes. This was quite a chore seeing as the clothes had to be taken home and washed every day of the camp. Then they were brought back in one huge bag that we had to sort through according to the initials we had put on the tags of the clothes. With kindergarteners waiting and watching for their clothes while you do this, it was mass chaos. haha. After the chaos, we ate lunch and headed to Howe High School for the camp.
At the camp, I worked with the kindergarten and first grade girls again who could not participate with the rest of the group because they were just too small. They would have been getting run over and hit by balls left and right. Yikes! I can just imagine the tears. We went to the upstairs gym and did our own activities. I had the girls first do some stretches then some ice creams (running up and down the gym and touching the lines on the floor). This made them good and tired! :) We then broke up into centers and worked on defensive slides, shooting, dribbling, and passing as best as a kindergartner can. I learned a whole lot about patience during the camp as well as asking for help. One of the earlier days of the week, I tried to work with all 25 girls under 6 years old on my own...it was TERRIBLE! I was exhausted and so frustrated. I realized from then on that I could no longer be so proud as to think that I could do it all. From then on, it was way better and less hectic.
After camp, we rode the bus back to Shepherd and the girls had to change back into their normal clothes (so we could wash their basketball clothes) within the 5 minutes before their parents arrived. Again, chaos! haha. Finally, 3:30 arrived, the kids left for home, and Tracy and I drove home absolutely exhausted from the day. haha. It was crazy to say the least, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I miss those girls so much! I often look back through my pictures of them. Their beautiful smiles and pure joy are evidence of God's love in their lives. I only hope I can see them again on this side of heaven and hear how God has continued to show himself to them as they have grown older.
Well, the last week at Shepherd was totally different than any of the others, but was still enjoyable just the same. The kids got to go to a basketball camp run by a former NBA player known as Big Ray. People from the community also donated money for all of them to get a basketball ball with new basketball clothes, socks, and Adidas shoes. They were so excited when they found out that they actually got to keep everything. Every back contained a personal letter from the person who donated the money.
The girls and the boys were separated for basketball camp which was helpful for organization, but that also meant that I didn't get to see the boys all week. :( I really missed them. The mornings for the girls were the pretty much same as all of the other weeks. We had an hour of worship and some free time outside. But, then instead of Bible study and devotions, we had to get them all changed into their basketball clothes. This was quite a chore seeing as the clothes had to be taken home and washed every day of the camp. Then they were brought back in one huge bag that we had to sort through according to the initials we had put on the tags of the clothes. With kindergarteners waiting and watching for their clothes while you do this, it was mass chaos. haha. After the chaos, we ate lunch and headed to Howe High School for the camp.
At the camp, I worked with the kindergarten and first grade girls again who could not participate with the rest of the group because they were just too small. They would have been getting run over and hit by balls left and right. Yikes! I can just imagine the tears. We went to the upstairs gym and did our own activities. I had the girls first do some stretches then some ice creams (running up and down the gym and touching the lines on the floor). This made them good and tired! :) We then broke up into centers and worked on defensive slides, shooting, dribbling, and passing as best as a kindergartner can. I learned a whole lot about patience during the camp as well as asking for help. One of the earlier days of the week, I tried to work with all 25 girls under 6 years old on my own...it was TERRIBLE! I was exhausted and so frustrated. I realized from then on that I could no longer be so proud as to think that I could do it all. From then on, it was way better and less hectic.
After camp, we rode the bus back to Shepherd and the girls had to change back into their normal clothes (so we could wash their basketball clothes) within the 5 minutes before their parents arrived. Again, chaos! haha. Finally, 3:30 arrived, the kids left for home, and Tracy and I drove home absolutely exhausted from the day. haha. It was crazy to say the least, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I miss those girls so much! I often look back through my pictures of them. Their beautiful smiles and pure joy are evidence of God's love in their lives. I only hope I can see them again on this side of heaven and hear how God has continued to show himself to them as they have grown older.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
He Has Overcome
So, this past week was nothing short of trying. All of us definitely felt attacked in a number of ways. From Bessie (our faithful bus) breaking down to the breaks going out on the van to the power washer quitting to a sudden death in the family of one of our participants Satan was alive and well. Despite all of these evidences of Satan's power, there are so many more that displayed God's might.
First of all, although the death of Bridgette's mother was extremely tragic, it was absolutely astonishing to see God work through that. All of the students from different backgrounds, youth groups, denominations, and races came together as one body and wept together. They were truly mourning with those who mourned though they had only met Bridgette and her dad 3 days earlier.
Beyond that, on Thursday morning after we had found out about Bridgette's mom, every one was incredibly tired and really unmotivated to be ministering at a Vacation Bible School for 100 elementary schoolers. We decided to pray long and hard before getting started simply because it was evident that we needed God's power to even make it through. We prayed that God's power would be made perfect in our weakness. We prayed for him to speak through us. We prayed that we would not get in the way, but that he would be able to use us to glorify himself. We prayed for his energy and power to get us through that day. Though I didn't realize it until that night, God answered our prayers in a mighty way. By lunch time, the group was laughing together. Our lesson that day had been about the cross. What a time to preach Christ's unending love! Right when we needed it most! God did use us to teach the children about his redemption. In the second and third grade class alone, when we explained what eternal life with Jesus was, a little girl exclaimed with a reverence beyond her years, "Wooooow!" Another girl came up after the lesson and asked, "You mean, if my aunt who died believed in Jesus and lived it, she is still alive in heaven?" And finally, another girl came up to me after the lesson and said, "Those Roman soldiers who killed Jesus...they...they didn't believe in him!" This summer has truly been teaching me the importance of "letting the little children come to Him." Jesus said the kingdom belongs to such as these. It is truly a blessing to get to work with them this summer.
Another tremendous answer to prayer occurred when my dad went in Wednesday to have a stint put in. They ended up putting three stints in, one of which reopened his native artery that had been unsuccessfully bypassed twice. There are only 5 doctors in the nation who have the ability to reopen blocked native arteries and there just happed to be one who work with the Prairie Heart Institute at St. John's who could work on my dad! Anyway, as I wrote in a previous blog, my dad's heart was functioning at 25% and they were going to have to put in the stint as well as a pacemaker with a defibrillator. However, after his surgery Wednesday, his heart is now functioning at 45%! That is better than his heart has functioned in the last 15 years since his first heart attack. The doctors did not expect it to go that well at all, but they said that since it did, they are just going to monitor his heart for the next 6 months. They are not going to put the pacemaker in or anything! What an answer to prayer! Now, on to the bladder cancer check up. :)
Anyway, like a said, although Satan was certainly trying to distract us this week through numerous trials, Jesus' faithfulness was so evident. I am so encouraged by His words, "In this world you will have trouble. But, take heart! I have overcome the world." I pray that will encourage you this week as well. Thanks for reading.
-Kelsey
First of all, although the death of Bridgette's mother was extremely tragic, it was absolutely astonishing to see God work through that. All of the students from different backgrounds, youth groups, denominations, and races came together as one body and wept together. They were truly mourning with those who mourned though they had only met Bridgette and her dad 3 days earlier.
Beyond that, on Thursday morning after we had found out about Bridgette's mom, every one was incredibly tired and really unmotivated to be ministering at a Vacation Bible School for 100 elementary schoolers. We decided to pray long and hard before getting started simply because it was evident that we needed God's power to even make it through. We prayed that God's power would be made perfect in our weakness. We prayed for him to speak through us. We prayed that we would not get in the way, but that he would be able to use us to glorify himself. We prayed for his energy and power to get us through that day. Though I didn't realize it until that night, God answered our prayers in a mighty way. By lunch time, the group was laughing together. Our lesson that day had been about the cross. What a time to preach Christ's unending love! Right when we needed it most! God did use us to teach the children about his redemption. In the second and third grade class alone, when we explained what eternal life with Jesus was, a little girl exclaimed with a reverence beyond her years, "Wooooow!" Another girl came up after the lesson and asked, "You mean, if my aunt who died believed in Jesus and lived it, she is still alive in heaven?" And finally, another girl came up to me after the lesson and said, "Those Roman soldiers who killed Jesus...they...they didn't believe in him!" This summer has truly been teaching me the importance of "letting the little children come to Him." Jesus said the kingdom belongs to such as these. It is truly a blessing to get to work with them this summer.
Another tremendous answer to prayer occurred when my dad went in Wednesday to have a stint put in. They ended up putting three stints in, one of which reopened his native artery that had been unsuccessfully bypassed twice. There are only 5 doctors in the nation who have the ability to reopen blocked native arteries and there just happed to be one who work with the Prairie Heart Institute at St. John's who could work on my dad! Anyway, as I wrote in a previous blog, my dad's heart was functioning at 25% and they were going to have to put in the stint as well as a pacemaker with a defibrillator. However, after his surgery Wednesday, his heart is now functioning at 45%! That is better than his heart has functioned in the last 15 years since his first heart attack. The doctors did not expect it to go that well at all, but they said that since it did, they are just going to monitor his heart for the next 6 months. They are not going to put the pacemaker in or anything! What an answer to prayer! Now, on to the bladder cancer check up. :)
Anyway, like a said, although Satan was certainly trying to distract us this week through numerous trials, Jesus' faithfulness was so evident. I am so encouraged by His words, "In this world you will have trouble. But, take heart! I have overcome the world." I pray that will encourage you this week as well. Thanks for reading.
-Kelsey
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Learning Never Ceases
First of all, this video that Jenna James gives a beautiful picture of what I have been doing this summer. Check it out! http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=228547740383&comments
Doesn't that make you want to become an intern??? :) God is good, and He is undeniably at work. I can't believe how much my eyes have been opened this summer. I just began reading Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution. Highly recommend it. Wow. What a powerful witness of the church. I am convicted by James when he says that anyone who knows the good he ought to do yet doesn't do it sins. Now, that God has shown me the good I must do, I must do it.
Tim Hughes' song "God of Justice" speaks of just a glimpse of the good we are called to do as Christians:
God of Justice, Saviour to all.
Came to rescue the weak and the poor.
Chose to serve and not be served.
Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God
You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord © 2007 Sparrow
I must go and do.
This week I will be leading a youth group in a Vacation Bible School for a local day camp. Please pray for us. Pray for the open hearts of the children. Pray that the Holy Spirit would move and use even our weak attempts to speak of the good news. Pray that our love would be an overwhelming but small picture of the depth of God's love for them. I love you all.
-Kelsey
Doesn't that make you want to become an intern??? :) God is good, and He is undeniably at work. I can't believe how much my eyes have been opened this summer. I just began reading Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution. Highly recommend it. Wow. What a powerful witness of the church. I am convicted by James when he says that anyone who knows the good he ought to do yet doesn't do it sins. Now, that God has shown me the good I must do, I must do it.
Tim Hughes' song "God of Justice" speaks of just a glimpse of the good we are called to do as Christians:
God of Justice, Saviour to all.
Came to rescue the weak and the poor.
Chose to serve and not be served.
Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God
You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord © 2007 Sparrow
I must go and do.
This week I will be leading a youth group in a Vacation Bible School for a local day camp. Please pray for us. Pray for the open hearts of the children. Pray that the Holy Spirit would move and use even our weak attempts to speak of the good news. Pray that our love would be an overwhelming but small picture of the depth of God's love for them. I love you all.
-Kelsey
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Learning to Trust
This week was amazing! I can't even begin to list the ways that God was working. I worked this week with the Hazelwood Christian Church junior high youth group. Amazing! They all have true servant's hearts. It was a delight to see them question, grow, work, and love. I can't wait to see what God is going to do in them and through them.
We were absolutely privileged to serve Faye Brown this week. Her husband past away about 3 years ago. We were able to do a great deal of scraping, caulking, priming, and painting on her house. She was absolutely wonderful and so hospitable. We got delicious goodies every afternoon: no bakes, cupcakes, and ice cream! Here is a picture of our group on the last day standing on Miss Faye's front porch.
So, for those of you who don't know, I found out this week on Wednesday that my dad is in heart failure due to the damage done to his heart years ago after his heart attacks. His heart is only functioning at 25%. I knew he was going in for tests at the beginning of this last week, but I certainly was not expecting that news. During the next several weeks, he has about 5 different doctor appointments so that they can decide what they are going to do. I have prayed for years that God would glorify himself through my dad's life, but somehow this was not what I was expecting. However, I know that God will use this for his own glory for his ways are higher than mine. I have been clinging to and attempting to understand the truths of Proverbs 3:5-6 this week. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Wow. I have had that verse memorized for over 10 years, but suddenly it has new meaning. The "ALL of your heart" and "lean not on your own understanding" really hit me. Have a truly given God all of my trust in every part of my heart? And do I still try to make sense of the things that God does? I cannot lean on my own understanding of these things. I am learning to trust.
Below is a picture of me and my dad from today at my grandma's house.
Please continue to be in prayer for him and for our family. Pray that I will allow God to use me where I am. Also, pray that God would use this in his redemption of all things to himself. Pray that we will have the humility and trust to allow him to do that in whatever way He sees fit. Thanks again, guys.
Love in Christ,
Kels
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Living Every Moment Redemptively
So, I just finished up my second ministry week, and we are preparing to start the second Mission Indy week tomorrow. I can't believe that we are already five weeks through the summer. That is half way through the internship! Ridiculous! It is flying just as I knew it would; I just wish I could find some way to slow it down.
Despite my lamenting about the summer going quickly, I have been troubled this week with my thoughts about just trying to get through the ministry week. I struggle often with trying not to wish seasons, weeks, days, hours, minutes away. I know that I need to make the most of every opportunity. I also know that I will regret wishing moments away when I look back and realizing how quickly life truly does go by.
Anyway, I love my kindergarteners at Shepherd. They are simply beautiful. However, each day I come home absolutely exhausted. Consequently, I start each morning with an attitude of just trying to make it through the seven hours of the work day, so I can go home and take a nap or hang out with friends. I am pained even writing those thoughts! I realize how selfish they are and how much I am missing out on God's purpose for me where I am. Please pray for me to truly be there. Not just physically. I want to be there in every way to be able to fully invest in these children.
On that note, God has really been teaching how important the work that is being done at Shepherd is. At times it can be frustrating feeling like you are constantly having to tell kids to get back in line or to stop hitting one another. I have really been convicted by Mike Bowling's statement that every action we take must be an act of redemption. I know last week when I worked with these kids, I was not redemptive with a lot of my discipline or actions with them. If one of them misbehaved, I simply scolded them in front of the whole class. I never talked with them about it though because I didn't think I had time in the midst of the busyness of the day. This week I have prayed that God would show me what it looks like to work with these kids in a redemptive way. On a few occasions I have pulled kids out of class if they told another student that they didn't want to be their friend anymore. I have let them tell me the whole situation from each perspective. I have talked with them about what it means to love one another and to love our enemies. I have prayed with them for forgiveness and for help from Jesus to live like him. I don't know if this is what redemption looks like exactly, but I know that God can use even the smallest bit to impact his children. I read once that God can speak through anything as evidenced by his ability to bring Peter to his knees by a mere rooster crowing three times. I am incredibly encouraged by that. :)
As we start this next Mission Indy week, continue to pray for all of us to learn to live redemptively. Pray for the youth groups who are coming. Pray that God would use this week to open their eyes to the truths of his Scriptures. Pray specifically for us interns. These weeks can be very exhausting. It is so easy to lose sight of why we are here. It is also very easy for me to pour myself out to people, but stop allowing God the time to fill me back up. My investment in others will be meaningless if I am not first rooted in Christ. John 15:5 has been such an important verse for me this summer, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." While it has been important, I have not fully taken hold of the truth of the verse and lived it out. Pray for me in that this week.
Thanks so much for reading. I love you all!
-Kels
Despite my lamenting about the summer going quickly, I have been troubled this week with my thoughts about just trying to get through the ministry week. I struggle often with trying not to wish seasons, weeks, days, hours, minutes away. I know that I need to make the most of every opportunity. I also know that I will regret wishing moments away when I look back and realizing how quickly life truly does go by.
Anyway, I love my kindergarteners at Shepherd. They are simply beautiful. However, each day I come home absolutely exhausted. Consequently, I start each morning with an attitude of just trying to make it through the seven hours of the work day, so I can go home and take a nap or hang out with friends. I am pained even writing those thoughts! I realize how selfish they are and how much I am missing out on God's purpose for me where I am. Please pray for me to truly be there. Not just physically. I want to be there in every way to be able to fully invest in these children.
On that note, God has really been teaching how important the work that is being done at Shepherd is. At times it can be frustrating feeling like you are constantly having to tell kids to get back in line or to stop hitting one another. I have really been convicted by Mike Bowling's statement that every action we take must be an act of redemption. I know last week when I worked with these kids, I was not redemptive with a lot of my discipline or actions with them. If one of them misbehaved, I simply scolded them in front of the whole class. I never talked with them about it though because I didn't think I had time in the midst of the busyness of the day. This week I have prayed that God would show me what it looks like to work with these kids in a redemptive way. On a few occasions I have pulled kids out of class if they told another student that they didn't want to be their friend anymore. I have let them tell me the whole situation from each perspective. I have talked with them about what it means to love one another and to love our enemies. I have prayed with them for forgiveness and for help from Jesus to live like him. I don't know if this is what redemption looks like exactly, but I know that God can use even the smallest bit to impact his children. I read once that God can speak through anything as evidenced by his ability to bring Peter to his knees by a mere rooster crowing three times. I am incredibly encouraged by that. :)
As we start this next Mission Indy week, continue to pray for all of us to learn to live redemptively. Pray for the youth groups who are coming. Pray that God would use this week to open their eyes to the truths of his Scriptures. Pray specifically for us interns. These weeks can be very exhausting. It is so easy to lose sight of why we are here. It is also very easy for me to pour myself out to people, but stop allowing God the time to fill me back up. My investment in others will be meaningless if I am not first rooted in Christ. John 15:5 has been such an important verse for me this summer, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." While it has been important, I have not fully taken hold of the truth of the verse and lived it out. Pray for me in that this week.
Thanks so much for reading. I love you all!
-Kels
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Long time no post
Hey Guys-
I'm so sorry I haven't posted in over a month. My host family doesn't have the Internet, and during Mission Indy weeks we don't have computer access at all. So, Panera is the only place I can come, and finding time for that is quite difficult. Anyway, this past month has been radical. Anything that I thought I knew, I now realize I don't know it. So much of what we have learned has raised so many questions for me. I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I know is Christ and him crucified. We interns have had so many heartfelt discussions with one another about all that we have seen and heard throughout the last month. The only conclusion that we have come to is that Christ alone holds all the treasures of wisdom, and that God's purpose is to reconcile all things to himself. Therefore, we must seek Him. Seek him. So simple. Yet we make it so complicated. So much of what I have learned these past few weeks has made me frustrated. How could I have missed all of this my whole life? How could have I missed so much of the Scriptures? But, I realize that God has opened my eyes right now for a reason, and I can't change anything that is wrong in the world. It is by God's power alone that redemption comes. Jesus said that he is the vine and we are the branches and apart from him we can bear no fruit. I am clinging to that verse this summer. I must seek Christ with all my heart if I truly want to be a part of God's redemption of all things.
Since I have waited so long to post, it is really difficult for me to tell you all that has occurred and all that I have learned. I will try to make this brief. As far as what has occurred. When I first got here, I met the other 10 interns and we began an intense two weeks of training. We visited numerous ministries throughout the city, discussed how to effectively lead and equip the youth ministries that would be coming in here, worked in different projects throughout the city, prayed with one another, studied the Word together, learned incredible amounts of wisdom from Mike Bowling (the minister at Englewood Christian Church) as we studied Mere Discipleship, and sought after God's will for the church in the world today. I am pretty sure I learned more in those two weeks than I have in my life! Somewhat overwhelming but absolutely incredible for sure. After training, we started with our individual ministries. For the whole third week that I was here, I worked with Shepherd Community's day camp program. I was placed in the Kindergarten and first grade classroom which has been such a joy! They are so beautiful! Every morning, we have worship and Bible Study with the kids. There is nothing more awesome than to see 115 kids singing, "There is no God like Jehovah!" Even though it is awesome to see them worship, they do wear me out for sure. Pray that God would continue to strengthen me throughout the long days. I know that I must continue allowing myself to be filled if I want to pour myself out for these kids. This past we just had our first Mission Indy week. It was terrific. There were 35 participants. Elizabeth and I led a group from Clear Creek in painting a house. We didn't quite finish due to unexpected amounts of scraping and caulking that needed to be done as well as some bad weather, but all in all, it was a great week.
So, on to what I have learned. I am going to make this a bullet point in order to make it easier and hopefully shorter. I am certain, however, that I am leaving things out. Here goes:
-You practice your real convictions. Please just think about that one. So true.
-All of my life must be a part of God's redemption: my career, my major, my disciplining of my children, my interactions with every person I encounter.
-Suburban ministry very well could be harder than urban ministry because the sins are hidden
-"What if" questions do not follow Jesus' commandment of "Do not worry about tomorrow"
-My wisdom is not greater than God's. I am not called to understand all that God commands, only to obey.
-The love that Christ preached should look radically different than the love of the world.
-Every part of the Word is to be obeyed. I cannot pick and choose what I want to obey.
-We are called to serve the widows, orphans, and the strangers in this land.
-Every Christian is called to serve the poor whether here or abroad. We must.
-True community is more than just meeting once a week.
-If I truly believe that it is by God's power that I am doing what I am doing, then I should have no problems practicing Sabbath rest. But do I? Again, I practice my real convictions.
There is so much more, but that is good for now. :) I honestly can't remember everything that I have learned at the moment. One thing in particular though that pertains to all of the above is that I cannot hold off to apply all of this until I get home. I must seek to honor God's commandments now while I am here otherwise I never will. I am really struggling right now to love as Christ loved. I am realizing just how much I think this life is all about me. I can say that I don't, but in all reality, I practice my real convictions. Pray that my convictions would be changed. I thank you all for your prayer and support. Can't wait to see you guys! Keep in touch!
-Kels
I'm so sorry I haven't posted in over a month. My host family doesn't have the Internet, and during Mission Indy weeks we don't have computer access at all. So, Panera is the only place I can come, and finding time for that is quite difficult. Anyway, this past month has been radical. Anything that I thought I knew, I now realize I don't know it. So much of what we have learned has raised so many questions for me. I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I know is Christ and him crucified. We interns have had so many heartfelt discussions with one another about all that we have seen and heard throughout the last month. The only conclusion that we have come to is that Christ alone holds all the treasures of wisdom, and that God's purpose is to reconcile all things to himself. Therefore, we must seek Him. Seek him. So simple. Yet we make it so complicated. So much of what I have learned these past few weeks has made me frustrated. How could I have missed all of this my whole life? How could have I missed so much of the Scriptures? But, I realize that God has opened my eyes right now for a reason, and I can't change anything that is wrong in the world. It is by God's power alone that redemption comes. Jesus said that he is the vine and we are the branches and apart from him we can bear no fruit. I am clinging to that verse this summer. I must seek Christ with all my heart if I truly want to be a part of God's redemption of all things.
Since I have waited so long to post, it is really difficult for me to tell you all that has occurred and all that I have learned. I will try to make this brief. As far as what has occurred. When I first got here, I met the other 10 interns and we began an intense two weeks of training. We visited numerous ministries throughout the city, discussed how to effectively lead and equip the youth ministries that would be coming in here, worked in different projects throughout the city, prayed with one another, studied the Word together, learned incredible amounts of wisdom from Mike Bowling (the minister at Englewood Christian Church) as we studied Mere Discipleship, and sought after God's will for the church in the world today. I am pretty sure I learned more in those two weeks than I have in my life! Somewhat overwhelming but absolutely incredible for sure. After training, we started with our individual ministries. For the whole third week that I was here, I worked with Shepherd Community's day camp program. I was placed in the Kindergarten and first grade classroom which has been such a joy! They are so beautiful! Every morning, we have worship and Bible Study with the kids. There is nothing more awesome than to see 115 kids singing, "There is no God like Jehovah!" Even though it is awesome to see them worship, they do wear me out for sure. Pray that God would continue to strengthen me throughout the long days. I know that I must continue allowing myself to be filled if I want to pour myself out for these kids. This past we just had our first Mission Indy week. It was terrific. There were 35 participants. Elizabeth and I led a group from Clear Creek in painting a house. We didn't quite finish due to unexpected amounts of scraping and caulking that needed to be done as well as some bad weather, but all in all, it was a great week.
So, on to what I have learned. I am going to make this a bullet point in order to make it easier and hopefully shorter. I am certain, however, that I am leaving things out. Here goes:
-You practice your real convictions. Please just think about that one. So true.
-All of my life must be a part of God's redemption: my career, my major, my disciplining of my children, my interactions with every person I encounter.
-Suburban ministry very well could be harder than urban ministry because the sins are hidden
-"What if" questions do not follow Jesus' commandment of "Do not worry about tomorrow"
-My wisdom is not greater than God's. I am not called to understand all that God commands, only to obey.
-The love that Christ preached should look radically different than the love of the world.
-Every part of the Word is to be obeyed. I cannot pick and choose what I want to obey.
-We are called to serve the widows, orphans, and the strangers in this land.
-Every Christian is called to serve the poor whether here or abroad. We must.
-True community is more than just meeting once a week.
-If I truly believe that it is by God's power that I am doing what I am doing, then I should have no problems practicing Sabbath rest. But do I? Again, I practice my real convictions.
There is so much more, but that is good for now. :) I honestly can't remember everything that I have learned at the moment. One thing in particular though that pertains to all of the above is that I cannot hold off to apply all of this until I get home. I must seek to honor God's commandments now while I am here otherwise I never will. I am really struggling right now to love as Christ loved. I am realizing just how much I think this life is all about me. I can say that I don't, but in all reality, I practice my real convictions. Pray that my convictions would be changed. I thank you all for your prayer and support. Can't wait to see you guys! Keep in touch!
-Kels
Monday, May 18, 2009
Spiritual Preparation for Service in the City
So, I was planning on journaling just for myself; however, I recently saw a few other interns' blogs, and I now feel obliged to write one myself. :) For those of you who don't know, I am preparing (or, well, should be preparing...haven't quite started yet) to serve as an intern with Mission Indy in the inner city of Indianapolis for the summer. This blog will hopefully be a good way to keep in touch and up to date on what God is doing in the city and in my heart.
Where my physical preparation has lacked, God's spiritual preparation has abounded. Once accepted, we interns were told to read Lee Camp's Mere Discipleship prior to arriving in Indy. Since I got the book in mid-March, I have been slowly but surely making my way through. When I first began reading, I was honestly somewhat angry at the bold claims this guy was making. He challenged everything I thought I knew about the church and the way it is established in America and in the world today. He challenged alot of the assumed lines that run between "good" and "evil", conservative and liberal, Republican and Democrat. But, Christianity isn't about those at all. Too often we agree with what one party or side says assuming it is the Christian viewpoint without ever having actually compared the beliefs to the truth of the Word. What a slap in the face. I really wanted to just shut the book and forget about it because it hurt too much, but I didn't.
As I have continued reading, I have begun to see just how flawed we are in our thinking. I am not so sure that Americans have a "right" to kill those who are doing wrong or injustice in the world today. After all, didn't Jesus command to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you? I am not so sure that we Americans should think that God is somehow on our side because we are the dominate world power. Hasn't almost every kingdom assumed that God was on their side? Yet, if you look back into the Old Testament, an earthly kingdom was never how God intended it, but his people begged for it. Jesus did not establish the kingdom that his followers expected. His was a kingdom of paradoxes to the world's line of thinking. I am not so sure that the hope of Christ is meant to be spread through the government of a nation so much as it is through the faithful people of God who are willing to follow Christ even onto the cross. We are called to radically love. Love God and love people. Are we really doing that? Do we even know what that means? After really studying what scripture has to say about the issues discussed, Lee Camp is on the mark with Christ's teaching. And my original reaction to his radical Christianity was not a great deal different than that of the Pharisees' reaction to Jesus' radical faith. Ouch!
Just writing some of these things still hurts. It hurts to know how blinded I have been to scripture for years. It hurts to try to give up deeply ingrained beliefs held for so long. But, as Camp states, "This is a great irony of American Christianity: exalting the nation that affords us "freedom of religion," we set aside the way of Christ in order to preserve the religion we supposedly are free to practice." If I have seen the truth of the scriptures, how can I deny them for the sake of upholding the beliefs of my country? It also hurts to know that these beliefs will make many people and many other Christians angry. But, I am learning that Jesus never called us to be liked by everyone. For goodness' sake, he certainly wasn't liked by everyone. He even tells his followers not to be surprised if the world hates them because they hated him first. Again, I cannot worship and praise Christ unless I am willing to submit to him as Lord and follow him through the suffering of the cross.
Beyond Mere Discipleship and the study of his Word, God has been preparing my heart through answered prayer as well. He provided abundantly in the financing of this trip. I am learning more and more how to trust him in this. He is always faithful. Furthermore, I have prayed that he would break my heart for the city. In the past year, I have done more missions work outside of the country than inside. There are just as many hurting hearts here though. I knew I needed some major changes in my perspective before I could serve in the city here. Since I began praying for change, even in the small things, I have noticed a difference in my attitude. We went to Chicago last week for the Cubs game. What an eye-opening experience to ride the L. So many people from everywhere. Literally. So many people who are so desperate for something more. Today, at church we saw a video about the people impacted by the inner city mission in a town nearby. People who were so desperate for something more. Through the love and faithfulness of God's church there, they were brought into fellowship with Christ. That is what I long for this summer. I just want to be humble and faithful, so that I can be used. He must become greater. I must become less.
Please pray with me that God would continue to break my pride. Pray that I would be weak so that his power would be made perfect in me. Pray that we would fall at His feet knowing our unworthiness, but sharing the grace with others who are just as unworthy. And pray that we would have eyes to see the works that are set out for us and the boldness to do those in the power of the Holy Spirit. Pray that His love would abound in us.
Where my physical preparation has lacked, God's spiritual preparation has abounded. Once accepted, we interns were told to read Lee Camp's Mere Discipleship prior to arriving in Indy. Since I got the book in mid-March, I have been slowly but surely making my way through. When I first began reading, I was honestly somewhat angry at the bold claims this guy was making. He challenged everything I thought I knew about the church and the way it is established in America and in the world today. He challenged alot of the assumed lines that run between "good" and "evil", conservative and liberal, Republican and Democrat. But, Christianity isn't about those at all. Too often we agree with what one party or side says assuming it is the Christian viewpoint without ever having actually compared the beliefs to the truth of the Word. What a slap in the face. I really wanted to just shut the book and forget about it because it hurt too much, but I didn't.
As I have continued reading, I have begun to see just how flawed we are in our thinking. I am not so sure that Americans have a "right" to kill those who are doing wrong or injustice in the world today. After all, didn't Jesus command to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you? I am not so sure that we Americans should think that God is somehow on our side because we are the dominate world power. Hasn't almost every kingdom assumed that God was on their side? Yet, if you look back into the Old Testament, an earthly kingdom was never how God intended it, but his people begged for it. Jesus did not establish the kingdom that his followers expected. His was a kingdom of paradoxes to the world's line of thinking. I am not so sure that the hope of Christ is meant to be spread through the government of a nation so much as it is through the faithful people of God who are willing to follow Christ even onto the cross. We are called to radically love. Love God and love people. Are we really doing that? Do we even know what that means? After really studying what scripture has to say about the issues discussed, Lee Camp is on the mark with Christ's teaching. And my original reaction to his radical Christianity was not a great deal different than that of the Pharisees' reaction to Jesus' radical faith. Ouch!
Just writing some of these things still hurts. It hurts to know how blinded I have been to scripture for years. It hurts to try to give up deeply ingrained beliefs held for so long. But, as Camp states, "This is a great irony of American Christianity: exalting the nation that affords us "freedom of religion," we set aside the way of Christ in order to preserve the religion we supposedly are free to practice." If I have seen the truth of the scriptures, how can I deny them for the sake of upholding the beliefs of my country? It also hurts to know that these beliefs will make many people and many other Christians angry. But, I am learning that Jesus never called us to be liked by everyone. For goodness' sake, he certainly wasn't liked by everyone. He even tells his followers not to be surprised if the world hates them because they hated him first. Again, I cannot worship and praise Christ unless I am willing to submit to him as Lord and follow him through the suffering of the cross.
Beyond Mere Discipleship and the study of his Word, God has been preparing my heart through answered prayer as well. He provided abundantly in the financing of this trip. I am learning more and more how to trust him in this. He is always faithful. Furthermore, I have prayed that he would break my heart for the city. In the past year, I have done more missions work outside of the country than inside. There are just as many hurting hearts here though. I knew I needed some major changes in my perspective before I could serve in the city here. Since I began praying for change, even in the small things, I have noticed a difference in my attitude. We went to Chicago last week for the Cubs game. What an eye-opening experience to ride the L. So many people from everywhere. Literally. So many people who are so desperate for something more. Today, at church we saw a video about the people impacted by the inner city mission in a town nearby. People who were so desperate for something more. Through the love and faithfulness of God's church there, they were brought into fellowship with Christ. That is what I long for this summer. I just want to be humble and faithful, so that I can be used. He must become greater. I must become less.
Please pray with me that God would continue to break my pride. Pray that I would be weak so that his power would be made perfect in me. Pray that we would fall at His feet knowing our unworthiness, but sharing the grace with others who are just as unworthy. And pray that we would have eyes to see the works that are set out for us and the boldness to do those in the power of the Holy Spirit. Pray that His love would abound in us.
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