Going Public with Praise: 10 Reasons Why My Fiance Is Great!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I've been doing some reading up on marriage. Recently, I've been reading Dr. David Jeremiah's book What the Bible Says about Love, Marriage, and Sex which is based on Song of Solomon and Tim LaHaye's Understand Your Man. I also already mentioned a few others in previous blogs like Martha Peace's The Excellent Wife. I've discovered on common thread among all of them:

Men really want to please their wives and they NEED affirmation from them.

If a husband doesn't seem to want to please his wife, it's probably because he got tired of trying and failing. The Scriptures command over and over for wives to respect their husbands. And, Song of Solomon is overflowing with both public and private admiration and praise from both lovers.

One suggestion of Tim Lahaye's that I really like is keeping a note card with a list of wonderful traits your significant other possesses. He says that if you read that card everyday, there is no way that you will not love your spouse. It just doesn't work. Truly reflecting on their good qualities just doesn't allow you to not like them! :) And daily reflecting on their good qualities? Well, that's entirely scriptural! Philippians 4:8 says, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Reviewing a list of all of the "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy" traits of our loved ones quite possibly could be one of the best ways we can be obedient to this verse!

So, I decided to go public with my praise as Dr. David Jeremiah suggests and offer you all a list of 10 reasons (in no particular order) of why my fiance is great! :)

1. He's a REALLY good listener.
I know there are so many stereotypes about guys not listening and wanting to watch TV while we want to talk, but that just isn't Don. In fact, he's taught me about how to be a good listener. He's showed me that often times telling a story of my own to show I understand isn't as good as just being quiet and maybe repeating back what the other person has said to show that I understand.

2. He's committed to me.
We all have our bad days. And, I've had my fair share--days when I've been selfish or sulky. And, you know what, it's on those days that Don shows his love best. He's bought me flowers on those days. He's even spent hours looking at Proverbs 31 verse by verse and writing out how I exemplify each one of those verses in the way I live! And, this is when I haven't been on top of my game!

3. He's confident.
He's not swayed by the opinions of others quite like I am. I tend to be tossed about by the waves of people's opinions, but he knows who he is and what he believes, and he doesn't let the disapproval of men shake him.

4. He's a great writer.
Have you checked out his blog? http://donnypapuanist.wordpress.com/ He's really incredible.

5. He's brilliant!
Don is really, really smart! Really! He told me the first day I met him that he did his undergrad at a "small liberal arts college in New Hampshire". That "small liberal arts college" just happened to be Dartmouth! What?! I'm so glad he didn't tell me that. This little state-school girl would have realized she was out of her league! :) And now, he's getting his Ph.D. in Linguistics! I'm really proud of him.

6. He's humble.
Did you notice how he chose not to tell me where he went to school? He's really humble. He's confident in who is he is and he doesn't feel the need to name drop or brag about his accomplishments. I really like that about him. And, it just gives me more opportunities to do it for him! :)

7. He's handsome!
His grandma was showing us pictures of his grandpa (whom Don is named after) one day last summer, and she said, "Look what a handsome devil I got!" I have to say, Don didn't just get his grandpa's name, he also got his devilish good looks. :)

8. He's respected by his peers.
The first week that I met Don, I had his professors telling me, "Have you met Don? He's such a great guy" and his fellow students saying, "Man, Don is the real deal!" When you're a linguist, you can't get much better than being the real deal.

9. He's romantic.
Oh goodness, have I not posted on here how Don proposed? Oh, it was lovely. Truly lovely. Mementos from our relationship, a tree house, flower petals. Absolutely perfect.

10. He seeks God wholeheartedly.
While in PNG taking on this rigorous 7-month fieldwork, he's been incredibly faithful and consistent in his love of the Lord. He's even been reading a Gospel every Sunday and memorizing the entire book of Mark! But, all that would be useless, if he didn't have love and if the fruit of that work didn't show up in his life. But, he does love the Lord and he is bearing incredible fruit for the kingdom. And, his heart is becoming more and more like Christ's everyday. I see it.

He's really great. And, the more I reflect on the qualities on my note card, the longer the list gets! It's really amazing! Try it! Your marriage will be better for it. Guaranteed.

My Story

"This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long."

I heard Third Day's rendition of the hymn "Blessed Assurance" on the radio today. As I emphatically sang it's word with the radio blaring, I began to question, "Is that really my story?"

I had a traumatic experience (for me, anyway) this past week. I turned in a rough draft of a paper for one of my classes, and I my professor gave it back saying that I had based my argument on some questionable assumptions which led me to some questionable conclusions. He told me my paper was not able to be fixed and that I would have to rewrite a new paper. Mind you, this was the last week of classes. Just as I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel--Poof! It was gone. And, needless to say, I was crushed emotionally. I felt like such a failure. A totally unacceptable paper? How had I done that? I must be the worst person in the class. (Remember, I'm competitive). I wallowed in these feelings for the whole day after he'd broken the news.

I called my mom right after my meeting with him, and she prayed that God would send special encouragement from people at school even if they didn't know the situation. And, you know what, God heard her prayers and answered them in a mighty way.

I walked into my next class right after getting off the phone, and my professor asked how I was doing. You know what happens after a question like that...I had a nervous breakdown right there in front of him and three other classmates. I bawled through my story about how I would have to start over on my paper and how I was so tired I didn't think I could do it. But, you know what? My professor walked up behind where I was sitting and he put his hand on my shoulder for about 10 seconds. It was the most glorious comfort in all the world at the moment. He didn't even say a word. But, he offered what my mom couldn't at that point. A comforting touch. After class, a fellow student told me she and her husband had been praying for me that week, and she gave me a hug.  Later on that evening, another student sent me a short email encouraging me that he was glad to be working in Bible translation together and that he was confident God was going to use me to spread his fame. The next day another student told me he noticed that I wasn't myself the day before and that he had prayed for me.

God is so good. Even when we are not faithful, He is faithful. I did not take his command in 1 Thessalonians 5 seriously. It says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I was not obedient in this. I sobbed and let self pity creep into my heart. And, yet, God heard the prayers of my mom, and he answered them faithfully. And, after receiving his comfort, I praised him again.

My prayer is that I would grow in my faith in his sovereignty and that I would learn to be obedient to his call to "give thanks in ALL circumstances". My prayer is that I would be found praising my Savior all the day long. My prayer is that no matter what, in success or in failure, in the harvest feast or the fallow ground, my prayer is that this would be my story.

Envy and Selfish Ambition

I'm competitive. I always have been. Sadly, I think competition is one of the driving forces behind why I work so hard at the tasks I set myself to. But, many times I find that competition kills. It kills my spirit. It kills my love for others. It kills my relationships. And, many times I find that competition also brings life. It brings life to envy. It brings life to selfish ambition. It brings life to a spirit that cries out for more attention, more awards, more glory.

God convicted me of my sinful spirit today when I read James 3:16, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."

Surely not, Lord. Surely I can be competitive without sinning. Surely I can envy the skills and talents of someone else without all of those other evils.

There is always danger in holding my beliefs over God's truth.

When I read that verse, I was drawn to the fact that James couples envy with selfish ambition. That was it. My envy was stemming from my competitive spirit. And my competitive spirit was growing up out of my selfish ambition. At the root of it all, I wanted glory, attention, praise, and respect for myself. And, I didn't want anyone else to have it. Just me.

Zechariah 14:9 says that at the end of time, "The Lord will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one Lord, and his name the only name."

His name the only name. At the end of time, no one will know my name. My name will not even exist in the minds or hearts of anyone on earth--not even my own. So, why do I compete? Why do I envy? Am I not here to bring glory to the one who is King over all the earth? Am I not here to magnify the one name that will endure forever?

Forgive me, Yahweh, Jehovah, the Self-Existent One, for the times that I forget that your name is the only name.

A Caveat

It's funny, you know. Every time I post something, God spends the next two weeks teaching me how to live out what I wrote. And, most times, he shows me that I don't have it all figured out. So, here's a caveat to my last post: We can cast off the flesh easily when we're living in the Spirit. If we've given ourselves over as slaves to the flesh again, it will take surrender to the Spirit anew to help us cast off the flesh.

A few weeks ago, I blogged about submission. I wrote that blog at a time when I was filled with Spirit, enjoying obedience to God and obedience to the authorities he's placed in my life. It was wonderful. And, I thought, "I've figured it out!" But, then I realized that I was a bit too hasty in my judgment. Over the last few weeks, Satan has sneakily crept back in and whispered empty promises about what good there is in living for myself and what danger there is in submitting to others. Without even realizing it, I started building walls again--fortresses against any attack by the ones called to protect me. 

I've been trying to knock down those walls again--trying to get back to the submission and joy I had just a short time ago. And, that's the place that my last blog was written from. A place of victory. I wanted to take hold of the truth that a stubborn--or, what is called these days?--strong-willed spirit was not my real identity. My true spirit is like Christ's spirit. As Paul says in Romans, "You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." I wanted that to be my identity. I am free. I am not governed by the sinful desire to stubbornly refuse to obey. 

However, over the last week, I've tried over and over to claim that as my identity. But, it hasn't worked in changing my heart. I've still been stubborn. No matter how much I verbally cast off the flesh or claim that it is not me, I still feel like it is me. My heart still seeks what I hate, and I still do what I do not want to do. So, God showed me what I missed before. 

In Romans 8:7, Paul says, "The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God." No wonder, I wasn't able to cast off the flesh. I had let my mind be governed by it again. Though I'd already been set free, I let myself become a slave to it again. Once I did that, I could not please God. My heart was not willing to please God. 

But, Paul goes on to say, "but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live." Hmmm...--"by the Spirit"--I guess I missed that last time. I cannot, especially if I'm operating out of the flesh, put to death the misdeeds of the body. But, the Spirit can. So, in order to take hold of my true identity and my new life in Christ, I'm resurrendering myself to the Spirit--allowing him to change my heart back to the new creation that it is and give me the power to walk in truth. Resurrendering at this point has looked like bathing myself in the Word, spending more time in prayer, and memorizing Scriptures that apply to the issues I'm trying to overcome. And, by God's grace I have faith that by His Spirit, "I will live".