Envy and Selfish Ambition

I'm competitive. I always have been. Sadly, I think competition is one of the driving forces behind why I work so hard at the tasks I set myself to. But, many times I find that competition kills. It kills my spirit. It kills my love for others. It kills my relationships. And, many times I find that competition also brings life. It brings life to envy. It brings life to selfish ambition. It brings life to a spirit that cries out for more attention, more awards, more glory.

God convicted me of my sinful spirit today when I read James 3:16, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."

Surely not, Lord. Surely I can be competitive without sinning. Surely I can envy the skills and talents of someone else without all of those other evils.

There is always danger in holding my beliefs over God's truth.

When I read that verse, I was drawn to the fact that James couples envy with selfish ambition. That was it. My envy was stemming from my competitive spirit. And my competitive spirit was growing up out of my selfish ambition. At the root of it all, I wanted glory, attention, praise, and respect for myself. And, I didn't want anyone else to have it. Just me.

Zechariah 14:9 says that at the end of time, "The Lord will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one Lord, and his name the only name."

His name the only name. At the end of time, no one will know my name. My name will not even exist in the minds or hearts of anyone on earth--not even my own. So, why do I compete? Why do I envy? Am I not here to bring glory to the one who is King over all the earth? Am I not here to magnify the one name that will endure forever?

Forgive me, Yahweh, Jehovah, the Self-Existent One, for the times that I forget that your name is the only name.