I mentioned a few weeks ago that I've been doing some reading up on marriage. Recently, I've been reading Dr. David Jeremiah's book What the Bible Says about Love, Marriage, and Sex which is based on Song of Solomon and Tim LaHaye's Understand Your Man. I also already mentioned a few others in previous blogs like Martha Peace's The Excellent Wife. I've discovered on common thread among all of them:
Men really want to please their wives and they NEED affirmation from them.
If a husband doesn't seem to want to please his wife, it's probably because he got tired of trying and failing. The Scriptures command over and over for wives to respect their husbands. And, Song of Solomon is overflowing with both public and private admiration and praise from both lovers.
One suggestion of Tim Lahaye's that I really like is keeping a note card with a list of wonderful traits your significant other possesses. He says that if you read that card everyday, there is no way that you will not love your spouse. It just doesn't work. Truly reflecting on their good qualities just doesn't allow you to not like them! :) And daily reflecting on their good qualities? Well, that's entirely scriptural! Philippians 4:8 says, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Reviewing a list of all of the "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy" traits of our loved ones quite possibly could be one of the best ways we can be obedient to this verse!
So, I decided to go public with my praise as Dr. David Jeremiah suggests and offer you all a list of 10 reasons (in no particular order) of why my fiance is great! :)
1. He's a REALLY good listener.
I know there are so many stereotypes about guys not listening and wanting to watch TV while we want to talk, but that just isn't Don. In fact, he's taught me about how to be a good listener. He's showed me that often times telling a story of my own to show I understand isn't as good as just being quiet and maybe repeating back what the other person has said to show that I understand.
2. He's committed to me.
We all have our bad days. And, I've had my fair share--days when I've been selfish or sulky. And, you know what, it's on those days that Don shows his love best. He's bought me flowers on those days. He's even spent hours looking at Proverbs 31 verse by verse and writing out how I exemplify each one of those verses in the way I live! And, this is when I haven't been on top of my game!
3. He's confident.
He's not swayed by the opinions of others quite like I am. I tend to be tossed about by the waves of people's opinions, but he knows who he is and what he believes, and he doesn't let the disapproval of men shake him.
4. He's a great writer.
Have you checked out his blog? http://donnypapuanist.wordpress.com/ He's really incredible.
5. He's brilliant!
Don is really, really smart! Really! He told me the first day I met him that he did his undergrad at a "small liberal arts college in New Hampshire". That "small liberal arts college" just happened to be Dartmouth! What?! I'm so glad he didn't tell me that. This little state-school girl would have realized she was out of her league! :) And now, he's getting his Ph.D. in Linguistics! I'm really proud of him.
6. He's humble.
Did you notice how he chose not to tell me where he went to school? He's really humble. He's confident in who is he is and he doesn't feel the need to name drop or brag about his accomplishments. I really like that about him. And, it just gives me more opportunities to do it for him! :)
7. He's handsome!
His grandma was showing us pictures of his grandpa (whom Don is named after) one day last summer, and she said, "Look what a handsome devil I got!" I have to say, Don didn't just get his grandpa's name, he also got his devilish good looks. :)
8. He's respected by his peers.
The first week that I met Don, I had his professors telling me, "Have you met Don? He's such a great guy" and his fellow students saying, "Man, Don is the real deal!" When you're a linguist, you can't get much better than being the real deal.
9. He's romantic.
Oh goodness, have I not posted on here how Don proposed? Oh, it was lovely. Truly lovely. Mementos from our relationship, a tree house, flower petals. Absolutely perfect.
10. He seeks God wholeheartedly.
While in PNG taking on this rigorous 7-month fieldwork, he's been incredibly faithful and consistent in his love of the Lord. He's even been reading a Gospel every Sunday and memorizing the entire book of Mark! But, all that would be useless, if he didn't have love and if the fruit of that work didn't show up in his life. But, he does love the Lord and he is bearing incredible fruit for the kingdom. And, his heart is becoming more and more like Christ's everyday. I see it.
He's really great. And, the more I reflect on the qualities on my note card, the longer the list gets! It's really amazing! Try it! Your marriage will be better for it. Guaranteed.
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