So, I just finished up my second ministry week, and we are preparing to start the second Mission Indy week tomorrow. I can't believe that we are already five weeks through the summer. That is half way through the internship! Ridiculous! It is flying just as I knew it would; I just wish I could find some way to slow it down.
Despite my lamenting about the summer going quickly, I have been troubled this week with my thoughts about just trying to get through the ministry week. I struggle often with trying not to wish seasons, weeks, days, hours, minutes away. I know that I need to make the most of every opportunity. I also know that I will regret wishing moments away when I look back and realizing how quickly life truly does go by.
Anyway, I love my kindergarteners at Shepherd. They are simply beautiful. However, each day I come home absolutely exhausted. Consequently, I start each morning with an attitude of just trying to make it through the seven hours of the work day, so I can go home and take a nap or hang out with friends. I am pained even writing those thoughts! I realize how selfish they are and how much I am missing out on God's purpose for me where I am. Please pray for me to truly be there. Not just physically. I want to be there in every way to be able to fully invest in these children.
On that note, God has really been teaching how important the work that is being done at Shepherd is. At times it can be frustrating feeling like you are constantly having to tell kids to get back in line or to stop hitting one another. I have really been convicted by Mike Bowling's statement that every action we take must be an act of redemption. I know last week when I worked with these kids, I was not redemptive with a lot of my discipline or actions with them. If one of them misbehaved, I simply scolded them in front of the whole class. I never talked with them about it though because I didn't think I had time in the midst of the busyness of the day. This week I have prayed that God would show me what it looks like to work with these kids in a redemptive way. On a few occasions I have pulled kids out of class if they told another student that they didn't want to be their friend anymore. I have let them tell me the whole situation from each perspective. I have talked with them about what it means to love one another and to love our enemies. I have prayed with them for forgiveness and for help from Jesus to live like him. I don't know if this is what redemption looks like exactly, but I know that God can use even the smallest bit to impact his children. I read once that God can speak through anything as evidenced by his ability to bring Peter to his knees by a mere rooster crowing three times. I am incredibly encouraged by that. :)
As we start this next Mission Indy week, continue to pray for all of us to learn to live redemptively. Pray for the youth groups who are coming. Pray that God would use this week to open their eyes to the truths of his Scriptures. Pray specifically for us interns. These weeks can be very exhausting. It is so easy to lose sight of why we are here. It is also very easy for me to pour myself out to people, but stop allowing God the time to fill me back up. My investment in others will be meaningless if I am not first rooted in Christ. John 15:5 has been such an important verse for me this summer, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." While it has been important, I have not fully taken hold of the truth of the verse and lived it out. Pray for me in that this week.
Thanks so much for reading. I love you all!
-Kels
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Long time no post
Hey Guys-
I'm so sorry I haven't posted in over a month. My host family doesn't have the Internet, and during Mission Indy weeks we don't have computer access at all. So, Panera is the only place I can come, and finding time for that is quite difficult. Anyway, this past month has been radical. Anything that I thought I knew, I now realize I don't know it. So much of what we have learned has raised so many questions for me. I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I know is Christ and him crucified. We interns have had so many heartfelt discussions with one another about all that we have seen and heard throughout the last month. The only conclusion that we have come to is that Christ alone holds all the treasures of wisdom, and that God's purpose is to reconcile all things to himself. Therefore, we must seek Him. Seek him. So simple. Yet we make it so complicated. So much of what I have learned these past few weeks has made me frustrated. How could I have missed all of this my whole life? How could have I missed so much of the Scriptures? But, I realize that God has opened my eyes right now for a reason, and I can't change anything that is wrong in the world. It is by God's power alone that redemption comes. Jesus said that he is the vine and we are the branches and apart from him we can bear no fruit. I am clinging to that verse this summer. I must seek Christ with all my heart if I truly want to be a part of God's redemption of all things.
Since I have waited so long to post, it is really difficult for me to tell you all that has occurred and all that I have learned. I will try to make this brief. As far as what has occurred. When I first got here, I met the other 10 interns and we began an intense two weeks of training. We visited numerous ministries throughout the city, discussed how to effectively lead and equip the youth ministries that would be coming in here, worked in different projects throughout the city, prayed with one another, studied the Word together, learned incredible amounts of wisdom from Mike Bowling (the minister at Englewood Christian Church) as we studied Mere Discipleship, and sought after God's will for the church in the world today. I am pretty sure I learned more in those two weeks than I have in my life! Somewhat overwhelming but absolutely incredible for sure. After training, we started with our individual ministries. For the whole third week that I was here, I worked with Shepherd Community's day camp program. I was placed in the Kindergarten and first grade classroom which has been such a joy! They are so beautiful! Every morning, we have worship and Bible Study with the kids. There is nothing more awesome than to see 115 kids singing, "There is no God like Jehovah!" Even though it is awesome to see them worship, they do wear me out for sure. Pray that God would continue to strengthen me throughout the long days. I know that I must continue allowing myself to be filled if I want to pour myself out for these kids. This past we just had our first Mission Indy week. It was terrific. There were 35 participants. Elizabeth and I led a group from Clear Creek in painting a house. We didn't quite finish due to unexpected amounts of scraping and caulking that needed to be done as well as some bad weather, but all in all, it was a great week.
So, on to what I have learned. I am going to make this a bullet point in order to make it easier and hopefully shorter. I am certain, however, that I am leaving things out. Here goes:
-You practice your real convictions. Please just think about that one. So true.
-All of my life must be a part of God's redemption: my career, my major, my disciplining of my children, my interactions with every person I encounter.
-Suburban ministry very well could be harder than urban ministry because the sins are hidden
-"What if" questions do not follow Jesus' commandment of "Do not worry about tomorrow"
-My wisdom is not greater than God's. I am not called to understand all that God commands, only to obey.
-The love that Christ preached should look radically different than the love of the world.
-Every part of the Word is to be obeyed. I cannot pick and choose what I want to obey.
-We are called to serve the widows, orphans, and the strangers in this land.
-Every Christian is called to serve the poor whether here or abroad. We must.
-True community is more than just meeting once a week.
-If I truly believe that it is by God's power that I am doing what I am doing, then I should have no problems practicing Sabbath rest. But do I? Again, I practice my real convictions.
There is so much more, but that is good for now. :) I honestly can't remember everything that I have learned at the moment. One thing in particular though that pertains to all of the above is that I cannot hold off to apply all of this until I get home. I must seek to honor God's commandments now while I am here otherwise I never will. I am really struggling right now to love as Christ loved. I am realizing just how much I think this life is all about me. I can say that I don't, but in all reality, I practice my real convictions. Pray that my convictions would be changed. I thank you all for your prayer and support. Can't wait to see you guys! Keep in touch!
-Kels
I'm so sorry I haven't posted in over a month. My host family doesn't have the Internet, and during Mission Indy weeks we don't have computer access at all. So, Panera is the only place I can come, and finding time for that is quite difficult. Anyway, this past month has been radical. Anything that I thought I knew, I now realize I don't know it. So much of what we have learned has raised so many questions for me. I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I know is Christ and him crucified. We interns have had so many heartfelt discussions with one another about all that we have seen and heard throughout the last month. The only conclusion that we have come to is that Christ alone holds all the treasures of wisdom, and that God's purpose is to reconcile all things to himself. Therefore, we must seek Him. Seek him. So simple. Yet we make it so complicated. So much of what I have learned these past few weeks has made me frustrated. How could I have missed all of this my whole life? How could have I missed so much of the Scriptures? But, I realize that God has opened my eyes right now for a reason, and I can't change anything that is wrong in the world. It is by God's power alone that redemption comes. Jesus said that he is the vine and we are the branches and apart from him we can bear no fruit. I am clinging to that verse this summer. I must seek Christ with all my heart if I truly want to be a part of God's redemption of all things.
Since I have waited so long to post, it is really difficult for me to tell you all that has occurred and all that I have learned. I will try to make this brief. As far as what has occurred. When I first got here, I met the other 10 interns and we began an intense two weeks of training. We visited numerous ministries throughout the city, discussed how to effectively lead and equip the youth ministries that would be coming in here, worked in different projects throughout the city, prayed with one another, studied the Word together, learned incredible amounts of wisdom from Mike Bowling (the minister at Englewood Christian Church) as we studied Mere Discipleship, and sought after God's will for the church in the world today. I am pretty sure I learned more in those two weeks than I have in my life! Somewhat overwhelming but absolutely incredible for sure. After training, we started with our individual ministries. For the whole third week that I was here, I worked with Shepherd Community's day camp program. I was placed in the Kindergarten and first grade classroom which has been such a joy! They are so beautiful! Every morning, we have worship and Bible Study with the kids. There is nothing more awesome than to see 115 kids singing, "There is no God like Jehovah!" Even though it is awesome to see them worship, they do wear me out for sure. Pray that God would continue to strengthen me throughout the long days. I know that I must continue allowing myself to be filled if I want to pour myself out for these kids. This past we just had our first Mission Indy week. It was terrific. There were 35 participants. Elizabeth and I led a group from Clear Creek in painting a house. We didn't quite finish due to unexpected amounts of scraping and caulking that needed to be done as well as some bad weather, but all in all, it was a great week.
So, on to what I have learned. I am going to make this a bullet point in order to make it easier and hopefully shorter. I am certain, however, that I am leaving things out. Here goes:
-You practice your real convictions. Please just think about that one. So true.
-All of my life must be a part of God's redemption: my career, my major, my disciplining of my children, my interactions with every person I encounter.
-Suburban ministry very well could be harder than urban ministry because the sins are hidden
-"What if" questions do not follow Jesus' commandment of "Do not worry about tomorrow"
-My wisdom is not greater than God's. I am not called to understand all that God commands, only to obey.
-The love that Christ preached should look radically different than the love of the world.
-Every part of the Word is to be obeyed. I cannot pick and choose what I want to obey.
-We are called to serve the widows, orphans, and the strangers in this land.
-Every Christian is called to serve the poor whether here or abroad. We must.
-True community is more than just meeting once a week.
-If I truly believe that it is by God's power that I am doing what I am doing, then I should have no problems practicing Sabbath rest. But do I? Again, I practice my real convictions.
There is so much more, but that is good for now. :) I honestly can't remember everything that I have learned at the moment. One thing in particular though that pertains to all of the above is that I cannot hold off to apply all of this until I get home. I must seek to honor God's commandments now while I am here otherwise I never will. I am really struggling right now to love as Christ loved. I am realizing just how much I think this life is all about me. I can say that I don't, but in all reality, I practice my real convictions. Pray that my convictions would be changed. I thank you all for your prayer and support. Can't wait to see you guys! Keep in touch!
-Kels
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