Somehow forgiveness seems so elementary to the faith, yet I've come to realize that I don't even really know what it is. What does it look like? How do I do it? When someone has wronged me, how exactly do I forgive them? Or, how do I know I have forgiven them? Do I forget what they did? Do I cease to deal with the problems that were caused? Do I pretend like it didn't happen? Do I cease to feel the pain that was caused? I think the answer is a firm "no" to all of these questions. Even if I tried to answer them with a "yes" and tried to "forgive" in that way, I don't think it would be the most emotionally healthy way of dealing with the issues. But, if none of those things are forgiveness, what then, is forgiveness?
The Bible has a few things to say on the topic, but the one verse that I've learned from the most in recent days is Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Okay, so this verse could be read in a couple different ways. I should forgive because God forgave me, or I should forgive in the same way that God forgave me. For now, let's go with the "same way" reading. So, if we are to forgive in the same way that God did. How did God do it?
Basically, through Christ's death, God took our sins and our punishment and placed them on Christ. He removed our garment of shame and replaced it with Christ's garment of white. In Christ, we have been made righteous. When God looks on us, he sees his Son. God sees Christ's perfect record instead of our sinful record.
So, if that's how God forgave us, then, that must be how we can forgive others.
I've come to think of it this way. When someone wrongs me, I must first honestly admit the wrong they have done and the hurt and the pain they have caused. If I am not honest in this first step, I will not be able to truly forgive them. However, once I've done that, I then remove that stain from their record, and I place it on Christ's record. Then, I replace their sinful record with Christ's righteous record. In other words, whatever good and holy thing Christ did or would have done in that situation, I credit that to the one who did me harm.
In more practical terms, I've found it helpful to take out a piece of paper. On the left side, I make a very specific list of the wrong things that were done or the hurt that was caused. Then with a single strikethrough, I cross out the wrongdoing in red pen. Then I draw arrows from each of the wrongdoings, and I replace each one with a righteous act of Christ. When I'm done, I have a list of their old, sinful acts that are all crossed out in red on the left side, and I have a list of their, new righteous acts on the right side. And, this becomes their new record. Sometimes I just read through all the righteous acts, and it fills me with peace and love for the person who caused me harm. Christ's blood has covered every sinful act and replaced them with his righteousness, and that brings joy and freedom.
By the way, I only strikethrough the sinful record once because sometimes Satan tries to speak lies to me and get me to keep a record of their wrongs again, but when I hear those lies, I look back at the list. I see that that sin has been covered, and I reread the righteous act that now stands in its place.
I'm not entirely sure if this is totally theologically sound, but it has definitely helped me get through the hurt that comes along in life and feel peace and love when I look at the ones who caused the hurt. So, take it with a grain of salt, and I pray that the Lord can use it to bring healing in your life as well.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Blessings in a Blow Up
I got back to Dallas last night. My friend Michal picked me up from the airport and dropped me off at my car which had been parked at school for the last month. We parted ways (after talking wedding plans, of course), and I got in my car to make my way home. I made it a whole 10 feet before I knew something was seriously wrong. My car was virtually army crawling backward out of the parking spot. I got out to find the reason for its clunky gait only to find that my right, front tire had exploded at some point over the last month. The tire was still in tact but all the tread had exploded into shreds around it.
Though this was not what I had expected upon my arrival back home, I have been so blessed to discover all of the ways that God has protected me and taken care of me through it.
First of all, right after Michal dropped me off, she went to go pick up her siblings, but something or rather Someone ;) compelled her to come back around the parking lot and make sure I knew she hadn't deserted me before I'd made it in my car. She then gave me a ride home. I'm grateful for her help and for God's prompting her to come back.
Second, it happened while no one was driving the car. The week before I left Dallas, I knew something was wrong. The car was pulling to the right a lot and the steering wheel shimmied at high speeds. I had asked my roommate's dad about it, and he checked the lug nuts and things seemed to be fine. So, I kept driving it giving other people rides back and forth 30 miles multiple times that week. I am so grateful that God protected us from an exploding tire while driving on the interstate and let it explode when it was sitting for a month.
Third, I normally live in an area with refugees and many immigrants; however, I had decided to park my car by school for the month. I'm so glad that it burst in the parking lot at school instead of my apartment parking lot. Changing a tire(when I really didn't know how) in front of lots of men who often stand around in the parking lot would have probably made me feel a little uneasy, but the parking lot at school was a perfect/open place to change it.
Fourth, Christy, the girl I'm staying with for the month, knows how to change a tire and had all the proper tools. And, she offered to get up this morning at 6:30am to get so I could get to Firestone to replace it by 7 when they opened. I'm so grateful she was here and was so knowledgeable and helpful. She was a real blessing.
And, I got my tires replaced by 8am this morning after discovering that the one tire was blown at 8pm last night. 12 hours (with about 8 of those being sleeping hours), and the problem was fixed.
I just feel grateful for the Lord's protection and provision today. And, of course, not all circumstances in life turn out as great as this one did, but just because I can't bank on things being so easy all the time doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't praise Him when they do.
"...give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Though this was not what I had expected upon my arrival back home, I have been so blessed to discover all of the ways that God has protected me and taken care of me through it.
First of all, right after Michal dropped me off, she went to go pick up her siblings, but something or rather Someone ;) compelled her to come back around the parking lot and make sure I knew she hadn't deserted me before I'd made it in my car. She then gave me a ride home. I'm grateful for her help and for God's prompting her to come back.
Second, it happened while no one was driving the car. The week before I left Dallas, I knew something was wrong. The car was pulling to the right a lot and the steering wheel shimmied at high speeds. I had asked my roommate's dad about it, and he checked the lug nuts and things seemed to be fine. So, I kept driving it giving other people rides back and forth 30 miles multiple times that week. I am so grateful that God protected us from an exploding tire while driving on the interstate and let it explode when it was sitting for a month.
Third, I normally live in an area with refugees and many immigrants; however, I had decided to park my car by school for the month. I'm so glad that it burst in the parking lot at school instead of my apartment parking lot. Changing a tire(when I really didn't know how) in front of lots of men who often stand around in the parking lot would have probably made me feel a little uneasy, but the parking lot at school was a perfect/open place to change it.
Fourth, Christy, the girl I'm staying with for the month, knows how to change a tire and had all the proper tools. And, she offered to get up this morning at 6:30am to get so I could get to Firestone to replace it by 7 when they opened. I'm so grateful she was here and was so knowledgeable and helpful. She was a real blessing.
And, I got my tires replaced by 8am this morning after discovering that the one tire was blown at 8pm last night. 12 hours (with about 8 of those being sleeping hours), and the problem was fixed.
I just feel grateful for the Lord's protection and provision today. And, of course, not all circumstances in life turn out as great as this one did, but just because I can't bank on things being so easy all the time doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't praise Him when they do.
"...give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
People Laugh When They Play
I've been reading a book called Poking Holes in the Darkness by Jaki Parlier. It's about the author's experience as a Wycliffe missionary in PNG. I've only read the first section, but she begins by describing in detail her first experience in a PNG village, and I found it fascinating. It reminded me of my first moments in a village. So, I thought I should record those moments before I forget them in a flurry of other memories stored in my brain. Here goes!
After an entire afternoon and early evening of traveling up (or down...I don't remember which) the river in Martha's fiberglass boat (which was so loaded down with cargo and people that the boat started to flood when we took off), we arrived at an unknown village at dusk.
Martha's boat with too much cargo and too many passengers.
The "boss crew" puttered on by the village, but the people called out from the shore warning us that we shouldn't keep going all night. They said that there were many big trees ahead in the river and that we would ruin our boat if we kept going in the dark. So, we turned around and decided to spend the night in their village. This was, of course, not part of the original plan. We were supposed to arrive at Martha's house by nightfall, but as is usually the case in PNG, plans are always subject to change. So, we got out of the boat and started pulling things out that we would need for the night. However, because we had not planned on staying anywhere, nothing was easily accessible. The men spent nearly 30 minutes searching through the cargo for tarps, mosquito nets, flashlights, etc. However, Don and I stood by as helpless onlookers given that our feet were quite unaccustomed to wading around in the 12-inch deep mud that ran along the shoreline. The Papua New Guineans, on the other hand, somehow manage not only to maintain their balance but also to emerge from the muddy mess spotless. One day, I'll learn their secret. I'm determined. :)
Once they gathered the necessary sleeping materials, we headed up the mud-covered side of a cliff which was a perfect perch for the village houses and overlooked the river below. The villagers told us that they lived in a swamp. They weren't kidding. The sound of the air being suctioned out of my shoes was heard with every step through the muddy and watery terrain. Martha (a villager not the missionary) carried a flashlight as she walked in front of me. She swayed her arms back and forth with the normal rhythm of walking, but each time there was a tree root or any other obstruction in my path, she would hold the flashlight back toward me so I could see the way. But, she never stopped or changed her pace, she just kept walking passing her light on to my feet. When we got to the top of the cliff, there were several houses (more like huts) all gathered in one area. There were lots of little dogs too. There were baby pigs running around at our feet as we made our way to the hut we would sleep in for the night. Once we set our stuff down, several of us gathered around a fire on the ground. We squatted or sat on little "footstools" which were about 2 inches off the ground near the gentle flames.
Papua New Guineans often squat instead of sitting on the ground.
Someone had some music on their phone (yes, they have cell phones without electricity), so we listened, and I entertained them with my wild and crazy American dance moves (mainly shoulder shrugs and head bobs) as the night came to a close. This was the night I kept convincing myself to talk with the girls who had come along (see previous post "I'm no conversationalist"), but after asking them what one of their names was and receiving only an embarrassed giggle in reply, I, bewildered and exhausted, went to my bed on a tarp in the corner of the hut. (They lay tarps down to sleep so that the mosquitoes don't come up through the bamboo floor boards and eat them alive). Typically, you would sleep with a mosquito net hanging up as well, but we couldn't find ours, and I said it wasn't a big deal for one night. I covered up with the blue lap lap I had worn as a skirt (don't worry, I had long basketball shorts on underneath), and I went to sleep. Well, kind of. Those bamboo boards are about as comfortable as they look. I spent most of the night rolling over and trying to find a position that would allow me to fall asleep without simultaneously making my limbs fall asleep. I was not so successful.
The next morning, we arose with the sun, and we gathered our belongings and got in the boat and headed back out on the river in pursuit of Martha's house. As we continued up (or down?) the river, we stopped at several other villages selling "flex cards" (which are credit for cell phones) and letting various passengers on and off the boat. In one village, we stopped the boat, and everyone seemed to be getting off. I had thought this was just another routine stop, but as it turned out, we were planning (or rather they were planning) to have breakfast in this village because it was the home village of our guide's mother.
This is what I consider my first real experience in a PNG village. As I walked up the side of the mud-covered (but less swampy) cliff of this village, I was greeted by several Papua New Guineans. At the top, there were many huts scattered about on the flat soil. Fires smoldered in front of each of the houses sending the aroma of fall cookouts in the US wafting into the crisp morning air.
Each of the houses had a small fire (see bottom right of the photo) which smoldered throughout the morning.
The Papua New Guineans told me and Don to sit down in the hut while they made breakfast which consisted of roasted bananas, rice, tin fish, and roasted corn on the cob. Truly a breakfast fit for the king (or two Prime Ministers in this case)!
The hut that Don and I sat in while they cooked our breakfast.
Chickens and roosters pecked and bawked all over the ground. One of the villagers brought us over a slice of papaya. I'd never eaten the orange-colored, soft and squishy fruit, and the texture mixed with my filthy hands, the hoard of flies buzzing around my head, the chickens on the ground, and the smell of smoke was enough to make me want to vomit. Don noticed my queasy expression and told me it was okay if I didn't want to eat it, but I was determined! I lay back for a bit to let myself adjust to my surroundings before making my stomach adjust to the food. And, Don said, "So, this is your first National Geographic village experience, huh?" And, that's precisely how it felt--like walking through a magazine. Everything was so surreal. The houses, the palm trees, the cooking, the animals. It was just like the pictures. But, this was real life! As I struggled to grip hold of reality, one of the Papua New Guineans brought us some corn on the cob to eat. Corn had never tasted so good! It was nothing like our corn in Illinois. It was tough and hard to chew and had a totally different flavor, especially because it was smoked, but it was just what I needed. I felt a rush of closeness to my home. I felt like these people weren't so different. They ate corn on the cob after all!
And, from that point on, I was okay. I watched with intrigue and curiosity, but things didn't seem so shocking. I watched a group of Papua New Guineans kick a soccer ball and hit a volleyball back and forth. They laughed as they played. Things weren't so different here. People are just people. Even when they look different, talk different, walk different, cook different, smell different, eat different. People are people. And, they laugh when they play.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Conflict Resolution
Every four years my campus ministry has brought in Randy Gariss from College Heights Christian Church in Joplin, Missouri,(http://www.alifetimelove.com/bio.htm) to talk about marriage and relationships at our annual winter retreat. Back in 2009, I bought his DVD "A Lifetime Love" which has six video sessions on issues that married couples often deal with. He offers much practical advice about dealing with in-laws, finances, and conflict. But, of all the topics, the one aspect of his teaching that I've put into practice the most so far is "how to have a healthy Christian fight".
Randy bases his teaching on Ephesians 4 and 5. He states that there are three components of a healthy Christian fight: speaking the truth in love today (Eph. 4:25-27), being humble (Eph. 4:32, 5:21, and edifying the other person. You don't have to accomplish those three steps in that order, but whenever you address a conflict, disagreement, or hurt you should always have those three components. I know it sounds simple, but it has definitely changed the way that I deal with conflict.
Before hearing those simple principles, I would avoid dealing with conflict--that would just hurt people's feelings. But, then, instead of speaking with the person I had the conflict with, I would go tell others about how unfair they were being. But, there was no hope of reconciliation in that! Half the time, the other person didn't even know they had hurt me. I've learned though that although it is painful at first, confronting conflict is always the best option. Almost every time, my heart has been softened after dealing with the conflict, and my relationship with the other person has been restored to a much better state than it was before.
Here's an example of how one might "hang something on each of the three hooks" of a healthy Christian fight. It's based on one of Randy's examples about a worker who continually arrives late and the boss wants to address it: "Hi Susan, can we talk for a few minutes? I wanted to talk with you about the time that you've been getting here in the morning. First of all, let me say that you are a great employee. You are a hard worker, and I know I can count on you to get your tasks done and done well. And, I really appreciate that dependability. (EDIFICATION) However, recently I've noticed that you've been arriving later and later. You know it states in our policy that you are to be here by 8:30, and I would appreciate if you made a more concerted effort to be here by that time. (SPEAK TRUTH IN LOVE) But, I also need to apologize because I should have dealt with this issue sooner--in fact, I should have dealt with it the day that it first bothered me. Each time it's happened, I've gotten more frustrated, and I've let bitterness creep in. I'm sorry about that, and I'm sorry for the way that that has affected our relationship recently. (BE HUMBLE)"
I know that many people feel this might sound idealistic, but it really is that simple. However, it requires that you think and pray over your time of confrontation and that you notice the conflict as soon as it arises. You cannot go into a time of addressing a conflict without prayer and reflection and expect yourself to be so fair. Often times when we're angry and especially when we've put off confrontation (and let bitterness creep in and allowed Satan to get that foothold (Eph. 4:25-27)), it's very hard for us to see any good in the other person. It's also very hard for us to see any wrong in us. But, if this is the case, we can be SURE that we are not ready to confront the other person because we certainly would not be speaking truth, it wouldn't be in love, and we wouldn't be humble.
Try this in your next conflict. It takes practice and discipline, but even though I'm far from perfect at dealing with conflict now, Randy's teaching's really helped me learn how to better deal with problems when they arise. Let me know what you think! :)
Randy bases his teaching on Ephesians 4 and 5. He states that there are three components of a healthy Christian fight: speaking the truth in love today (Eph. 4:25-27), being humble (Eph. 4:32, 5:21, and edifying the other person. You don't have to accomplish those three steps in that order, but whenever you address a conflict, disagreement, or hurt you should always have those three components. I know it sounds simple, but it has definitely changed the way that I deal with conflict.
Before hearing those simple principles, I would avoid dealing with conflict--that would just hurt people's feelings. But, then, instead of speaking with the person I had the conflict with, I would go tell others about how unfair they were being. But, there was no hope of reconciliation in that! Half the time, the other person didn't even know they had hurt me. I've learned though that although it is painful at first, confronting conflict is always the best option. Almost every time, my heart has been softened after dealing with the conflict, and my relationship with the other person has been restored to a much better state than it was before.
Here's an example of how one might "hang something on each of the three hooks" of a healthy Christian fight. It's based on one of Randy's examples about a worker who continually arrives late and the boss wants to address it: "Hi Susan, can we talk for a few minutes? I wanted to talk with you about the time that you've been getting here in the morning. First of all, let me say that you are a great employee. You are a hard worker, and I know I can count on you to get your tasks done and done well. And, I really appreciate that dependability. (EDIFICATION) However, recently I've noticed that you've been arriving later and later. You know it states in our policy that you are to be here by 8:30, and I would appreciate if you made a more concerted effort to be here by that time. (SPEAK TRUTH IN LOVE) But, I also need to apologize because I should have dealt with this issue sooner--in fact, I should have dealt with it the day that it first bothered me. Each time it's happened, I've gotten more frustrated, and I've let bitterness creep in. I'm sorry about that, and I'm sorry for the way that that has affected our relationship recently. (BE HUMBLE)"
I know that many people feel this might sound idealistic, but it really is that simple. However, it requires that you think and pray over your time of confrontation and that you notice the conflict as soon as it arises. You cannot go into a time of addressing a conflict without prayer and reflection and expect yourself to be so fair. Often times when we're angry and especially when we've put off confrontation (and let bitterness creep in and allowed Satan to get that foothold (Eph. 4:25-27)), it's very hard for us to see any good in the other person. It's also very hard for us to see any wrong in us. But, if this is the case, we can be SURE that we are not ready to confront the other person because we certainly would not be speaking truth, it wouldn't be in love, and we wouldn't be humble.
Try this in your next conflict. It takes practice and discipline, but even though I'm far from perfect at dealing with conflict now, Randy's teaching's really helped me learn how to better deal with problems when they arise. Let me know what you think! :)
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Going Public with Praise: 10 Reasons Why My Fiance Is Great!
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I've been doing some reading up on marriage. Recently, I've been reading Dr. David Jeremiah's book What the Bible Says about Love, Marriage, and Sex which is based on Song of Solomon and Tim LaHaye's Understand Your Man. I also already mentioned a few others in previous blogs like Martha Peace's The Excellent Wife. I've discovered on common thread among all of them:
Men really want to please their wives and they NEED affirmation from them.
If a husband doesn't seem to want to please his wife, it's probably because he got tired of trying and failing. The Scriptures command over and over for wives to respect their husbands. And, Song of Solomon is overflowing with both public and private admiration and praise from both lovers.
One suggestion of Tim Lahaye's that I really like is keeping a note card with a list of wonderful traits your significant other possesses. He says that if you read that card everyday, there is no way that you will not love your spouse. It just doesn't work. Truly reflecting on their good qualities just doesn't allow you to not like them! :) And daily reflecting on their good qualities? Well, that's entirely scriptural! Philippians 4:8 says, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Reviewing a list of all of the "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy" traits of our loved ones quite possibly could be one of the best ways we can be obedient to this verse!
So, I decided to go public with my praise as Dr. David Jeremiah suggests and offer you all a list of 10 reasons (in no particular order) of why my fiance is great! :)
1. He's a REALLY good listener.
I know there are so many stereotypes about guys not listening and wanting to watch TV while we want to talk, but that just isn't Don. In fact, he's taught me about how to be a good listener. He's showed me that often times telling a story of my own to show I understand isn't as good as just being quiet and maybe repeating back what the other person has said to show that I understand.
2. He's committed to me.
We all have our bad days. And, I've had my fair share--days when I've been selfish or sulky. And, you know what, it's on those days that Don shows his love best. He's bought me flowers on those days. He's even spent hours looking at Proverbs 31 verse by verse and writing out how I exemplify each one of those verses in the way I live! And, this is when I haven't been on top of my game!
3. He's confident.
He's not swayed by the opinions of others quite like I am. I tend to be tossed about by the waves of people's opinions, but he knows who he is and what he believes, and he doesn't let the disapproval of men shake him.
4. He's a great writer.
Have you checked out his blog? http://donnypapuanist.wordpress.com/ He's really incredible.
5. He's brilliant!
Don is really, really smart! Really! He told me the first day I met him that he did his undergrad at a "small liberal arts college in New Hampshire". That "small liberal arts college" just happened to be Dartmouth! What?! I'm so glad he didn't tell me that. This little state-school girl would have realized she was out of her league! :) And now, he's getting his Ph.D. in Linguistics! I'm really proud of him.
6. He's humble.
Did you notice how he chose not to tell me where he went to school? He's really humble. He's confident in who is he is and he doesn't feel the need to name drop or brag about his accomplishments. I really like that about him. And, it just gives me more opportunities to do it for him! :)
7. He's handsome!
His grandma was showing us pictures of his grandpa (whom Don is named after) one day last summer, and she said, "Look what a handsome devil I got!" I have to say, Don didn't just get his grandpa's name, he also got his devilish good looks. :)
8. He's respected by his peers.
The first week that I met Don, I had his professors telling me, "Have you met Don? He's such a great guy" and his fellow students saying, "Man, Don is the real deal!" When you're a linguist, you can't get much better than being the real deal.
9. He's romantic.
Oh goodness, have I not posted on here how Don proposed? Oh, it was lovely. Truly lovely. Mementos from our relationship, a tree house, flower petals. Absolutely perfect.
10. He seeks God wholeheartedly.
While in PNG taking on this rigorous 7-month fieldwork, he's been incredibly faithful and consistent in his love of the Lord. He's even been reading a Gospel every Sunday and memorizing the entire book of Mark! But, all that would be useless, if he didn't have love and if the fruit of that work didn't show up in his life. But, he does love the Lord and he is bearing incredible fruit for the kingdom. And, his heart is becoming more and more like Christ's everyday. I see it.
He's really great. And, the more I reflect on the qualities on my note card, the longer the list gets! It's really amazing! Try it! Your marriage will be better for it. Guaranteed.
Men really want to please their wives and they NEED affirmation from them.
If a husband doesn't seem to want to please his wife, it's probably because he got tired of trying and failing. The Scriptures command over and over for wives to respect their husbands. And, Song of Solomon is overflowing with both public and private admiration and praise from both lovers.
One suggestion of Tim Lahaye's that I really like is keeping a note card with a list of wonderful traits your significant other possesses. He says that if you read that card everyday, there is no way that you will not love your spouse. It just doesn't work. Truly reflecting on their good qualities just doesn't allow you to not like them! :) And daily reflecting on their good qualities? Well, that's entirely scriptural! Philippians 4:8 says, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Reviewing a list of all of the "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy" traits of our loved ones quite possibly could be one of the best ways we can be obedient to this verse!
So, I decided to go public with my praise as Dr. David Jeremiah suggests and offer you all a list of 10 reasons (in no particular order) of why my fiance is great! :)
1. He's a REALLY good listener.
I know there are so many stereotypes about guys not listening and wanting to watch TV while we want to talk, but that just isn't Don. In fact, he's taught me about how to be a good listener. He's showed me that often times telling a story of my own to show I understand isn't as good as just being quiet and maybe repeating back what the other person has said to show that I understand.
2. He's committed to me.
We all have our bad days. And, I've had my fair share--days when I've been selfish or sulky. And, you know what, it's on those days that Don shows his love best. He's bought me flowers on those days. He's even spent hours looking at Proverbs 31 verse by verse and writing out how I exemplify each one of those verses in the way I live! And, this is when I haven't been on top of my game!
3. He's confident.
He's not swayed by the opinions of others quite like I am. I tend to be tossed about by the waves of people's opinions, but he knows who he is and what he believes, and he doesn't let the disapproval of men shake him.
4. He's a great writer.
Have you checked out his blog? http://donnypapuanist.wordpress.com/ He's really incredible.
5. He's brilliant!
Don is really, really smart! Really! He told me the first day I met him that he did his undergrad at a "small liberal arts college in New Hampshire". That "small liberal arts college" just happened to be Dartmouth! What?! I'm so glad he didn't tell me that. This little state-school girl would have realized she was out of her league! :) And now, he's getting his Ph.D. in Linguistics! I'm really proud of him.
6. He's humble.
Did you notice how he chose not to tell me where he went to school? He's really humble. He's confident in who is he is and he doesn't feel the need to name drop or brag about his accomplishments. I really like that about him. And, it just gives me more opportunities to do it for him! :)
7. He's handsome!
His grandma was showing us pictures of his grandpa (whom Don is named after) one day last summer, and she said, "Look what a handsome devil I got!" I have to say, Don didn't just get his grandpa's name, he also got his devilish good looks. :)
8. He's respected by his peers.
The first week that I met Don, I had his professors telling me, "Have you met Don? He's such a great guy" and his fellow students saying, "Man, Don is the real deal!" When you're a linguist, you can't get much better than being the real deal.
9. He's romantic.
Oh goodness, have I not posted on here how Don proposed? Oh, it was lovely. Truly lovely. Mementos from our relationship, a tree house, flower petals. Absolutely perfect.
10. He seeks God wholeheartedly.
While in PNG taking on this rigorous 7-month fieldwork, he's been incredibly faithful and consistent in his love of the Lord. He's even been reading a Gospel every Sunday and memorizing the entire book of Mark! But, all that would be useless, if he didn't have love and if the fruit of that work didn't show up in his life. But, he does love the Lord and he is bearing incredible fruit for the kingdom. And, his heart is becoming more and more like Christ's everyday. I see it.
He's really great. And, the more I reflect on the qualities on my note card, the longer the list gets! It's really amazing! Try it! Your marriage will be better for it. Guaranteed.
Monday, June 4, 2012
My Story
"This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long."
I heard Third Day's rendition of the hymn "Blessed Assurance" on the radio today. As I emphatically sang it's word with the radio blaring, I began to question, "Is that really my story?"
I had a traumatic experience (for me, anyway) this past week. I turned in a rough draft of a paper for one of my classes, and I my professor gave it back saying that I had based my argument on some questionable assumptions which led me to some questionable conclusions. He told me my paper was not able to be fixed and that I would have to rewrite a new paper. Mind you, this was the last week of classes. Just as I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel--Poof! It was gone. And, needless to say, I was crushed emotionally. I felt like such a failure. A totally unacceptable paper? How had I done that? I must be the worst person in the class. (Remember, I'm competitive). I wallowed in these feelings for the whole day after he'd broken the news.
I called my mom right after my meeting with him, and she prayed that God would send special encouragement from people at school even if they didn't know the situation. And, you know what, God heard her prayers and answered them in a mighty way.
I walked into my next class right after getting off the phone, and my professor asked how I was doing. You know what happens after a question like that...I had a nervous breakdown right there in front of him and three other classmates. I bawled through my story about how I would have to start over on my paper and how I was so tired I didn't think I could do it. But, you know what? My professor walked up behind where I was sitting and he put his hand on my shoulder for about 10 seconds. It was the most glorious comfort in all the world at the moment. He didn't even say a word. But, he offered what my mom couldn't at that point. A comforting touch. After class, a fellow student told me she and her husband had been praying for me that week, and she gave me a hug. Later on that evening, another student sent me a short email encouraging me that he was glad to be working in Bible translation together and that he was confident God was going to use me to spread his fame. The next day another student told me he noticed that I wasn't myself the day before and that he had prayed for me.
God is so good. Even when we are not faithful, He is faithful. I did not take his command in 1 Thessalonians 5 seriously. It says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I was not obedient in this. I sobbed and let self pity creep into my heart. And, yet, God heard the prayers of my mom, and he answered them faithfully. And, after receiving his comfort, I praised him again.
My prayer is that I would grow in my faith in his sovereignty and that I would learn to be obedient to his call to "give thanks in ALL circumstances". My prayer is that I would be found praising my Savior all the day long. My prayer is that no matter what, in success or in failure, in the harvest feast or the fallow ground, my prayer is that this would be my story.
I heard Third Day's rendition of the hymn "Blessed Assurance" on the radio today. As I emphatically sang it's word with the radio blaring, I began to question, "Is that really my story?"
I had a traumatic experience (for me, anyway) this past week. I turned in a rough draft of a paper for one of my classes, and I my professor gave it back saying that I had based my argument on some questionable assumptions which led me to some questionable conclusions. He told me my paper was not able to be fixed and that I would have to rewrite a new paper. Mind you, this was the last week of classes. Just as I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel--Poof! It was gone. And, needless to say, I was crushed emotionally. I felt like such a failure. A totally unacceptable paper? How had I done that? I must be the worst person in the class. (Remember, I'm competitive). I wallowed in these feelings for the whole day after he'd broken the news.
I called my mom right after my meeting with him, and she prayed that God would send special encouragement from people at school even if they didn't know the situation. And, you know what, God heard her prayers and answered them in a mighty way.
I walked into my next class right after getting off the phone, and my professor asked how I was doing. You know what happens after a question like that...I had a nervous breakdown right there in front of him and three other classmates. I bawled through my story about how I would have to start over on my paper and how I was so tired I didn't think I could do it. But, you know what? My professor walked up behind where I was sitting and he put his hand on my shoulder for about 10 seconds. It was the most glorious comfort in all the world at the moment. He didn't even say a word. But, he offered what my mom couldn't at that point. A comforting touch. After class, a fellow student told me she and her husband had been praying for me that week, and she gave me a hug. Later on that evening, another student sent me a short email encouraging me that he was glad to be working in Bible translation together and that he was confident God was going to use me to spread his fame. The next day another student told me he noticed that I wasn't myself the day before and that he had prayed for me.
God is so good. Even when we are not faithful, He is faithful. I did not take his command in 1 Thessalonians 5 seriously. It says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I was not obedient in this. I sobbed and let self pity creep into my heart. And, yet, God heard the prayers of my mom, and he answered them faithfully. And, after receiving his comfort, I praised him again.
My prayer is that I would grow in my faith in his sovereignty and that I would learn to be obedient to his call to "give thanks in ALL circumstances". My prayer is that I would be found praising my Savior all the day long. My prayer is that no matter what, in success or in failure, in the harvest feast or the fallow ground, my prayer is that this would be my story.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Envy and Selfish Ambition
I'm competitive. I always have been. Sadly, I think competition is one of the driving forces behind why I work so hard at the tasks I set myself to. But, many times I find that competition kills. It kills my spirit. It kills my love for others. It kills my relationships. And, many times I find that competition also brings life. It brings life to envy. It brings life to selfish ambition. It brings life to a spirit that cries out for more attention, more awards, more glory.
God convicted me of my sinful spirit today when I read James 3:16, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."
Surely not, Lord. Surely I can be competitive without sinning. Surely I can envy the skills and talents of someone else without all of those other evils.
There is always danger in holding my beliefs over God's truth.
When I read that verse, I was drawn to the fact that James couples envy with selfish ambition. That was it. My envy was stemming from my competitive spirit. And my competitive spirit was growing up out of my selfish ambition. At the root of it all, I wanted glory, attention, praise, and respect for myself. And, I didn't want anyone else to have it. Just me.
Zechariah 14:9 says that at the end of time, "The Lord will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one Lord, and his name the only name."
His name the only name. At the end of time, no one will know my name. My name will not even exist in the minds or hearts of anyone on earth--not even my own. So, why do I compete? Why do I envy? Am I not here to bring glory to the one who is King over all the earth? Am I not here to magnify the one name that will endure forever?
Forgive me, Yahweh, Jehovah, the Self-Existent One, for the times that I forget that your name is the only name.
God convicted me of my sinful spirit today when I read James 3:16, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."
Surely not, Lord. Surely I can be competitive without sinning. Surely I can envy the skills and talents of someone else without all of those other evils.
There is always danger in holding my beliefs over God's truth.
When I read that verse, I was drawn to the fact that James couples envy with selfish ambition. That was it. My envy was stemming from my competitive spirit. And my competitive spirit was growing up out of my selfish ambition. At the root of it all, I wanted glory, attention, praise, and respect for myself. And, I didn't want anyone else to have it. Just me.
Zechariah 14:9 says that at the end of time, "The Lord will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one Lord, and his name the only name."
His name the only name. At the end of time, no one will know my name. My name will not even exist in the minds or hearts of anyone on earth--not even my own. So, why do I compete? Why do I envy? Am I not here to bring glory to the one who is King over all the earth? Am I not here to magnify the one name that will endure forever?
Forgive me, Yahweh, Jehovah, the Self-Existent One, for the times that I forget that your name is the only name.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
A Caveat
It's funny, you know. Every time I post something, God spends the next two weeks teaching me how to live out what I wrote. And, most times, he shows me that I don't have it all figured out. So, here's a caveat to my last post: We can cast off the flesh easily when we're living in the Spirit. If we've given ourselves over as slaves to the flesh again, it will take surrender to the Spirit anew to help us cast off the flesh.
A few weeks ago, I blogged about submission. I wrote that blog at a time when I was filled with Spirit, enjoying obedience to God and obedience to the authorities he's placed in my life. It was wonderful. And, I thought, "I've figured it out!" But, then I realized that I was a bit too hasty in my judgment. Over the last few weeks, Satan has sneakily crept back in and whispered empty promises about what good there is in living for myself and what danger there is in submitting to others. Without even realizing it, I started building walls again--fortresses against any attack by the ones called to protect me.
I've been trying to knock down those walls again--trying to get back to the submission and joy I had just a short time ago. And, that's the place that my last blog was written from. A place of victory. I wanted to take hold of the truth that a stubborn--or, what is called these days?--strong-willed spirit was not my real identity. My true spirit is like Christ's spirit. As Paul says in Romans, "You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." I wanted that to be my identity. I am free. I am not governed by the sinful desire to stubbornly refuse to obey.
However, over the last week, I've tried over and over to claim that as my identity. But, it hasn't worked in changing my heart. I've still been stubborn. No matter how much I verbally cast off the flesh or claim that it is not me, I still feel like it is me. My heart still seeks what I hate, and I still do what I do not want to do. So, God showed me what I missed before.
In Romans 8:7, Paul says, "The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God." No wonder, I wasn't able to cast off the flesh. I had let my mind be governed by it again. Though I'd already been set free, I let myself become a slave to it again. Once I did that, I could not please God. My heart was not willing to please God.
But, Paul goes on to say, "but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live." Hmmm...--"by the Spirit"--I guess I missed that last time. I cannot, especially if I'm operating out of the flesh, put to death the misdeeds of the body. But, the Spirit can. So, in order to take hold of my true identity and my new life in Christ, I'm resurrendering myself to the Spirit--allowing him to change my heart back to the new creation that it is and give me the power to walk in truth. Resurrendering at this point has looked like bathing myself in the Word, spending more time in prayer, and memorizing Scriptures that apply to the issues I'm trying to overcome. And, by God's grace I have faith that by His Spirit, "I will live".
Saturday, May 26, 2012
On Hypocrisy and Humility
One of the most popular criticisms against the Church today is that Christians are just a bunch of hypocrites.
So, how has the Church responded? By conceding. By saying, "Okay, you're right. We're not perfect. We're just sinners saved by grace."
But, I think we've missed the mark.
Those who criticize the Church today are right. We've got some major problems among us still.
But, the answer we've chosen has not gotten us to the root of the problem. In fact, I think it's moved us farther from the truth. In an effort to remain honest and humble, we've taken on a self-deprecating stance that admits we're just defeated and beaten down people who will get to go to heaven when we die not by our own works but by our faith in Christ's death and resurrection.
But, this doesn't seem like what the Scriptures say. Sure, the Scriptures say that we are saved by grace through faith so that no one can boast. But, they also say that we are more than conquerors. They also say that the old has gone and the new has come. They also say that we have been given the mind of Christ. They also say that we are saints. They also say that we will do even greater things than Jesus did.
But, the attitude I described above doesn't sound quite so victorious. No wonder people aren't interested in Christianity today!
I'll admit we have been hypocrites. We have still sinned even after being saved. But, the answer is not to just concede that we can't win the battle against Satan and the battle against sin. We can! And, we have!
So, why are we still sinning? Because the Father of Lies has convinced of another little fib. He knew when God raised Jesus to life that he had lost. But, he had to find a way to keep his power. So he said, "They aren't slaves to sin anymore. They are free and governed by a new spirit. But, if I can get them to believe that they aren't free and that they don't have power over sin, they'll stay just where they are." And, you know what? We've bought into his lie. We've said, "You're right. We are still sinners."
So, what do we do now? STOP BELIEVING HIM. NOW. We are victors! We should claim our identity as saints! We are not governed by sin any longer! Do you feel like you just can't stop that habitual sin? YOU CAN. Throw off the sin that so easily entangles. It is that simple. It is! Cast out Satan and his lies. He has no power over us. God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. And, he will always give us a way out of temptation. We are not governed by our sinful nature or by Satan any longer. So, cast him out and be the holy saint that you are!
I think that this is the grace through faith that the Scriptures talk about. The faith that Jesus conquered sin and death and that we are not slaves anymore. Salvation is here. Today. We are eternal beings living in the victory that Christ bought. If you don't believe this, then the sanctifying work of salvation through FAITH is probably not working in you very well. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world any longer, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2). Renew your mind by believing the truth about your identity in Christ. It isn't by our works, so we can't boast. We can only boast in the cross of Christ. And that's humility. Confidence in Christ's work not our own. But, this does not mean that we should claim an identity as sinners. Scripture says we can boast! We can boast in Christ's work! We are saints! And, we must cling to the truth that Christ's death brings salvation and victory today!
So, how has the Church responded? By conceding. By saying, "Okay, you're right. We're not perfect. We're just sinners saved by grace."
But, I think we've missed the mark.
Those who criticize the Church today are right. We've got some major problems among us still.
But, the answer we've chosen has not gotten us to the root of the problem. In fact, I think it's moved us farther from the truth. In an effort to remain honest and humble, we've taken on a self-deprecating stance that admits we're just defeated and beaten down people who will get to go to heaven when we die not by our own works but by our faith in Christ's death and resurrection.
But, this doesn't seem like what the Scriptures say. Sure, the Scriptures say that we are saved by grace through faith so that no one can boast. But, they also say that we are more than conquerors. They also say that the old has gone and the new has come. They also say that we have been given the mind of Christ. They also say that we are saints. They also say that we will do even greater things than Jesus did.
But, the attitude I described above doesn't sound quite so victorious. No wonder people aren't interested in Christianity today!
I'll admit we have been hypocrites. We have still sinned even after being saved. But, the answer is not to just concede that we can't win the battle against Satan and the battle against sin. We can! And, we have!
So, why are we still sinning? Because the Father of Lies has convinced of another little fib. He knew when God raised Jesus to life that he had lost. But, he had to find a way to keep his power. So he said, "They aren't slaves to sin anymore. They are free and governed by a new spirit. But, if I can get them to believe that they aren't free and that they don't have power over sin, they'll stay just where they are." And, you know what? We've bought into his lie. We've said, "You're right. We are still sinners."
So, what do we do now? STOP BELIEVING HIM. NOW. We are victors! We should claim our identity as saints! We are not governed by sin any longer! Do you feel like you just can't stop that habitual sin? YOU CAN. Throw off the sin that so easily entangles. It is that simple. It is! Cast out Satan and his lies. He has no power over us. God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. And, he will always give us a way out of temptation. We are not governed by our sinful nature or by Satan any longer. So, cast him out and be the holy saint that you are!
I think that this is the grace through faith that the Scriptures talk about. The faith that Jesus conquered sin and death and that we are not slaves anymore. Salvation is here. Today. We are eternal beings living in the victory that Christ bought. If you don't believe this, then the sanctifying work of salvation through FAITH is probably not working in you very well. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world any longer, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2). Renew your mind by believing the truth about your identity in Christ. It isn't by our works, so we can't boast. We can only boast in the cross of Christ. And that's humility. Confidence in Christ's work not our own. But, this does not mean that we should claim an identity as sinners. Scripture says we can boast! We can boast in Christ's work! We are saints! And, we must cling to the truth that Christ's death brings salvation and victory today!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Musings Beyond Marriage #2: Desiree
I have a friend. Her name is Desiree. She's 51. She lives in my neighborhood. But, as of April 30, she's homeless. I don't see her often--only when I drive past her on the road. She doesn't have a phone or a house, so planned meetings aren't really possible. She walks about 3-5 miles a day to get where she needs to go. She's half African American, half white. She has a daughter who's 19 and a grandson who's 3. She's been in prison before for drugs. She doesn't have a car. She doesn't have her license--it was taken away for driving without insurance. When she did have an apartment, she couldn't use electricity because she didn't have the money to pay the bill.
How did I meet Desiree? Obedience.
A few months ago I was driving home from church after we heard a sermon on evangelism. As I drove through my neighborhood, I started thinking of all the things I needed to do that day--what I was going to have for lunch, what homework needed to get done, when I was going to clean the kitchen--when I saw her. She had a purple jacket and a scarf wrapped around her head, and she was pushing a cart with a couple TVs and a baseball bat in it. I sensed the Holy Spirit urge me to stop and talk with her, but I was afraid. And, I didn't want to disrupt my plans for the day. So, I drove on. I got to the intersection of my street, and I knew I had to go back. So, I turned around, and she looked right at me. Our eyes locked, and I smiled. I put the car in park and rolled down my window, wondering if I'd just made a mistake, "Can I talk with you for a second?" "Yeah," she replied. So, I pulled over and got out. "How are you?" "You know, I'm makin' it." "Yeah? Well, I was just wondering if I could pray for you for anything?" "You can as a matter of fact."
She proceeded to tell me that she was being evicted from her apartment the next day because she couldn't pay the rent. She was in the process of moving all of her belongings by cart to her daughter's apartment a couple miles away. I prayed for her, and I spent the next hour helping her move her stuff in my car. She said over and over that day, "Are you an angel? You just appeared out of nowhere--poof! Are you sure you're not an angel?"
I'm not an angel, of course. But, what a blessing it was to be a vessel of God's blessing in Desiree's life that day. And, to think, I almost drove on. God knows what we need. He knows what's best. As I have learned to walk in obedience and submission to Don; I have learned a little more what it looks to walk in obedience and submission to God. Each day, he has good works planned out for us (Ephesians 2:10), but too often we're too busy to listen. When we feel that nudge, we don't need to fear--His ways are always higher than our ways. We are not just called to obedience when we understand the rationale behind the request. When Jesus called the disciples it says, "...at once, they left their nets and followed him." They had no idea what he was calling them to or even why he was calling. (If they did, they probably never would have followed.) But, they were obedient.
Sometimes we can fear that it is not the voice of God but our own voice calling us to action, but if the nudge we feel is in line with the Scriptures calling us "to act justly and to love mercy" (Micah 6:8), we can be confident in our obedience. And, the confidence grows each time we obey, and we see the fruit that God blesses us with. The goal of the Christian life is "to walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31). We will probably start out in obedience in fits and spurts "soaring on wings like eagles" but crashing to the ground with fatigue from going it alone, running hard but growing weary, but He's promised that those who hope in the Lord will be strengthened to walk and not faint. Apart from Him we can do nothing, but He's promised to remain in those who remain in Him (John 15:5). And, He's promised that those who are faithful with little will be given much and will share in their Master's happiness (Matthew 25:21).
Her name is Desiree. That means "desire" in French. Psalm 34:1 says, "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." I'm so thankful that God keeps his promises. As I learn to delight in Him, He continues to give me the "desires" of my heart. I love Desiree. She is my friend.
How did I meet Desiree? Obedience.
A few months ago I was driving home from church after we heard a sermon on evangelism. As I drove through my neighborhood, I started thinking of all the things I needed to do that day--what I was going to have for lunch, what homework needed to get done, when I was going to clean the kitchen--when I saw her. She had a purple jacket and a scarf wrapped around her head, and she was pushing a cart with a couple TVs and a baseball bat in it. I sensed the Holy Spirit urge me to stop and talk with her, but I was afraid. And, I didn't want to disrupt my plans for the day. So, I drove on. I got to the intersection of my street, and I knew I had to go back. So, I turned around, and she looked right at me. Our eyes locked, and I smiled. I put the car in park and rolled down my window, wondering if I'd just made a mistake, "Can I talk with you for a second?" "Yeah," she replied. So, I pulled over and got out. "How are you?" "You know, I'm makin' it." "Yeah? Well, I was just wondering if I could pray for you for anything?" "You can as a matter of fact."
She proceeded to tell me that she was being evicted from her apartment the next day because she couldn't pay the rent. She was in the process of moving all of her belongings by cart to her daughter's apartment a couple miles away. I prayed for her, and I spent the next hour helping her move her stuff in my car. She said over and over that day, "Are you an angel? You just appeared out of nowhere--poof! Are you sure you're not an angel?"
I'm not an angel, of course. But, what a blessing it was to be a vessel of God's blessing in Desiree's life that day. And, to think, I almost drove on. God knows what we need. He knows what's best. As I have learned to walk in obedience and submission to Don; I have learned a little more what it looks to walk in obedience and submission to God. Each day, he has good works planned out for us (Ephesians 2:10), but too often we're too busy to listen. When we feel that nudge, we don't need to fear--His ways are always higher than our ways. We are not just called to obedience when we understand the rationale behind the request. When Jesus called the disciples it says, "...at once, they left their nets and followed him." They had no idea what he was calling them to or even why he was calling. (If they did, they probably never would have followed.) But, they were obedient.
Sometimes we can fear that it is not the voice of God but our own voice calling us to action, but if the nudge we feel is in line with the Scriptures calling us "to act justly and to love mercy" (Micah 6:8), we can be confident in our obedience. And, the confidence grows each time we obey, and we see the fruit that God blesses us with. The goal of the Christian life is "to walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31). We will probably start out in obedience in fits and spurts "soaring on wings like eagles" but crashing to the ground with fatigue from going it alone, running hard but growing weary, but He's promised that those who hope in the Lord will be strengthened to walk and not faint. Apart from Him we can do nothing, but He's promised to remain in those who remain in Him (John 15:5). And, He's promised that those who are faithful with little will be given much and will share in their Master's happiness (Matthew 25:21).
Her name is Desiree. That means "desire" in French. Psalm 34:1 says, "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." I'm so thankful that God keeps his promises. As I learn to delight in Him, He continues to give me the "desires" of my heart. I love Desiree. She is my friend.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Musings Beyond Marriage #1: Professors
All of these revelations about submission and respect have had a huge impact on my life--even in spheres beyond the husband/wife relationship. 1 Peter 2 says that we should submit ourselves to EVERY human authority--every single one. That means parents, professors, teachers, pastors, husbands, the government.
Although every one of these authorities needs to be submitted to, the one that has impacted me most (beyond husbands) in my current stage of life has been professors. I get the feeling that we've lost respect for teachers in American society. A lot of parents side with their children in most matters these days. And, our individualist culture says that we shouldn't listen to what the teacher says unless we're convinced he or she knows more than we do. However, the Scriptures say nothing about respect being earned by those in authority. They simply command us to give respect. In other words, it seems that respect is not earned, it is simply given. It's not about what the authority does, it's about what the subordinate does.
Yikes! When God revealed these things to my heart, I was immediately convicted. My mind raced to a hundred different scenarios even in the last year when I've sat around with my peers looking over homework assignments frustrated at the "harsh" grading. We've commiserated, complaining that it was "so unfair" that the professors were being so "nit-picky" by taking off so many points for such a "tiny error". And, I thought of all of the times when I was overwhelmed with the activities and assignments that I chose not to do assigned readings for certain classes.
My heart had been filled with pride. I refused to submit myself to the authority that God had placed over me. My professors have their PhDs. They have spent 30 years working in Bible translation. They've translated New Testaments and written dozens of academic papers. They know what I need to know, but even if they didn't, I am called to be obedient. And I'm called to be obedient without complaining or arguing.
So, I'm learning. I'm learning that I must "show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, and honor the emperor." (1 Peter 2:17) "For it is God's will that by doing good, [we] should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people." (1 Peter 2:15) May we be empowered to go and do likewise.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Musings on Marriage
Of all the books I've read over the last few months, the one that impacted me the most by far was The Excellent Wife. Martha Peace takes a much more "conservative" stance on the role of women today than I was used to. But, something about her spirit and her heart in the style of relating she described was so beautiful, so humble, so strong, and so feminine.
She believes that it is the wife's chief responsibility to make her husband's life easier. Wives should wake up every morning and ask their husbands, "What can I do to help you accomplish your goals today?" And, a wife is to be obedient to her husband in all things unless he is asking her to sin.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, "Whoa! Are we rewinding the tapes of time to set ourselves back in the 1950s with June Cleaver?! What about women's lib? We have been freed from that kind of tyranny!" As I've discussed these ideas with people, I've come to see that they really aren't accepted in today's culture. But, as I've discussed these ideas with God and his Word, something about them is so appealing.
I should interject here that never in a million years (prior to now) would I have EVER said that this submission sounded appealing. In fact when Don asked my dad for my hand in marriage my dad told him, "She's a very independent little girl who needs a lot of attention." And, it was true! I wanted to be the center of everyone's world, and I wanted to conquer the world--BY MYSELF! But, somehow I'm realizing just how selfish, insecure, weak, and un-Christlike my attitude was.
I think that Jesus gave us human relationships to give us glimpses into his character and into how we relate to him and his kingdom. And, the relationship between a husband and wife is one of the clearest pictures that we have of the relationship between Christ and the Church. The Church seeks to have Christ's mission as its mission. The Church should wake up every morning and ask the Lord, "What can I do to help you accomplish your goals today?" Should we not do the same as wives to our husbands?
1 Peter 2 and 3 talks about submitting to every human authority even those who are harsh because that's the example that Christ set for us even as he was being crucified. And Philippians 2 says that though Christ was equal to God he didn't not consider equality with God something to be held onto, but he submitted himself unto death. Jesus was God. He knew what God knew and did what God did, but when he came to earth he gave that up. Jesus says throughout the Gospels that he only knows what his Father tells him and he only does what his Father tells him to do. Should we as wives not follow his example? Though we are equal to our husbands, we choose joyfully to submit to their authority "out of reverence for Christ" as it says in Ephesians.
I grew up hearing that men were supposed to lead, but I didn't grow up hearing that women were supposed to submit. But, these two things are not mutually exclusive. No authority can lead if his followers aren't willing to submit. His requests will never be carried out. And, anytime that he makes a mistake, he will be chastised by the people who were supposed to be in his corner, on his side, cheering him on. This disrespect breeds paralysis for the leader. Today's American culture is filled with books on leadership and seminars and conferences on how to be the best leader out there. But, what about followers? We NEED followers--faithful followers. Proverbs talks many times about how faithful servants are the delight of kings. Our leaders and our husbands will be left crippled if we don't learn how to faithfully follow.
So, what's the number one reason we don't follow? FEAR. We do not trust that God knows what is best for us. We do not trust that our husbands know what is best for us. We think that we must protect ourselves because no one else will. But, even in biblical times, God knew this would be the case. 1 Peter 3:6 says that we will be like Sarah (Abraham's wife) if we submit ourselves to our husbands and "do not give way to fear." It's a scary thing, no doubt. But, God has given us many protections as his daughters. We have the right and the responsibility to *biblically* (following Matthew 18) reprove our husbands when we feel they are not acting in line with the Scriptures. And, we are certainly free to express our opinion if it differs from our husbands, but we should express it one time so as not to become the dreaded nagging wife of Proverbs. And, as long as he's not asking us to sin, we should follow him in obedience even if he chooses something different than we would have.
God knew that when any two people would come together there would be a power struggle. In fact, he promised it to Adam and Eve when they sinned in the garden. He told Eve that "her desire would be for her husband, but he would rule over her." There's debate on what that means, but I definitely see in my flesh a desire to be in charge, but I see in my spirit a desire to follow my husband. God knew this struggle would be there, so he laid out in Scripture who submits: children obey your parents, slaves obey your masters, lay people obey the government, wives obey your husbands. There is such freedom in this! It doesn't mean we aren't equal. It means that Scripture has told us which one of us decides to submit. It gives us this incredible freedom from a million little arguments that we would have had because no one had the ultimate say. So many of those trivial matters are solved before they even arise. And now, we are free to truly live as Philippians 2 says, "without complaining and arguing," and we will "shine like stars in the universe."
I think for me, the most beautiful and most surprising part of all of this was beauty of the spirit of a woman. The way she approaches her husband is so powerful. It's so gentle but it's filled with bridled strength. Often times we think of the women who fight for their rights and refuse to submit to anyone as the strong ones, but I'm beginning to see that submission requires great strength. It's a death to yourself for the sake of someone else. It is losing your life so that you will find it. Submission brings great freedom and great joy. It's not losing the battle--it's winning the war. Satan is vanquished over and over when we submit to our husbands. May we be given the strength and grace to be obedient. And, in our obedience may our beauty come not from outward adornment but from that of our inner selves, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight (1 Peter 2:3-4).
She believes that it is the wife's chief responsibility to make her husband's life easier. Wives should wake up every morning and ask their husbands, "What can I do to help you accomplish your goals today?" And, a wife is to be obedient to her husband in all things unless he is asking her to sin.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, "Whoa! Are we rewinding the tapes of time to set ourselves back in the 1950s with June Cleaver?! What about women's lib? We have been freed from that kind of tyranny!" As I've discussed these ideas with people, I've come to see that they really aren't accepted in today's culture. But, as I've discussed these ideas with God and his Word, something about them is so appealing.
I should interject here that never in a million years (prior to now) would I have EVER said that this submission sounded appealing. In fact when Don asked my dad for my hand in marriage my dad told him, "She's a very independent little girl who needs a lot of attention." And, it was true! I wanted to be the center of everyone's world, and I wanted to conquer the world--BY MYSELF! But, somehow I'm realizing just how selfish, insecure, weak, and un-Christlike my attitude was.
I think that Jesus gave us human relationships to give us glimpses into his character and into how we relate to him and his kingdom. And, the relationship between a husband and wife is one of the clearest pictures that we have of the relationship between Christ and the Church. The Church seeks to have Christ's mission as its mission. The Church should wake up every morning and ask the Lord, "What can I do to help you accomplish your goals today?" Should we not do the same as wives to our husbands?
1 Peter 2 and 3 talks about submitting to every human authority even those who are harsh because that's the example that Christ set for us even as he was being crucified. And Philippians 2 says that though Christ was equal to God he didn't not consider equality with God something to be held onto, but he submitted himself unto death. Jesus was God. He knew what God knew and did what God did, but when he came to earth he gave that up. Jesus says throughout the Gospels that he only knows what his Father tells him and he only does what his Father tells him to do. Should we as wives not follow his example? Though we are equal to our husbands, we choose joyfully to submit to their authority "out of reverence for Christ" as it says in Ephesians.
I grew up hearing that men were supposed to lead, but I didn't grow up hearing that women were supposed to submit. But, these two things are not mutually exclusive. No authority can lead if his followers aren't willing to submit. His requests will never be carried out. And, anytime that he makes a mistake, he will be chastised by the people who were supposed to be in his corner, on his side, cheering him on. This disrespect breeds paralysis for the leader. Today's American culture is filled with books on leadership and seminars and conferences on how to be the best leader out there. But, what about followers? We NEED followers--faithful followers. Proverbs talks many times about how faithful servants are the delight of kings. Our leaders and our husbands will be left crippled if we don't learn how to faithfully follow.
So, what's the number one reason we don't follow? FEAR. We do not trust that God knows what is best for us. We do not trust that our husbands know what is best for us. We think that we must protect ourselves because no one else will. But, even in biblical times, God knew this would be the case. 1 Peter 3:6 says that we will be like Sarah (Abraham's wife) if we submit ourselves to our husbands and "do not give way to fear." It's a scary thing, no doubt. But, God has given us many protections as his daughters. We have the right and the responsibility to *biblically* (following Matthew 18) reprove our husbands when we feel they are not acting in line with the Scriptures. And, we are certainly free to express our opinion if it differs from our husbands, but we should express it one time so as not to become the dreaded nagging wife of Proverbs. And, as long as he's not asking us to sin, we should follow him in obedience even if he chooses something different than we would have.
God knew that when any two people would come together there would be a power struggle. In fact, he promised it to Adam and Eve when they sinned in the garden. He told Eve that "her desire would be for her husband, but he would rule over her." There's debate on what that means, but I definitely see in my flesh a desire to be in charge, but I see in my spirit a desire to follow my husband. God knew this struggle would be there, so he laid out in Scripture who submits: children obey your parents, slaves obey your masters, lay people obey the government, wives obey your husbands. There is such freedom in this! It doesn't mean we aren't equal. It means that Scripture has told us which one of us decides to submit. It gives us this incredible freedom from a million little arguments that we would have had because no one had the ultimate say. So many of those trivial matters are solved before they even arise. And now, we are free to truly live as Philippians 2 says, "without complaining and arguing," and we will "shine like stars in the universe."
I think for me, the most beautiful and most surprising part of all of this was beauty of the spirit of a woman. The way she approaches her husband is so powerful. It's so gentle but it's filled with bridled strength. Often times we think of the women who fight for their rights and refuse to submit to anyone as the strong ones, but I'm beginning to see that submission requires great strength. It's a death to yourself for the sake of someone else. It is losing your life so that you will find it. Submission brings great freedom and great joy. It's not losing the battle--it's winning the war. Satan is vanquished over and over when we submit to our husbands. May we be given the strength and grace to be obedient. And, in our obedience may our beauty come not from outward adornment but from that of our inner selves, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight (1 Peter 2:3-4).
Friday, May 4, 2012
An Update
A 3-month blog hiatus. Not bad--considering I've gone on whole year hiatuses before. :)
Spring term started on February 9, and my last post was on February 11. That should tell you something: graduate school is all-consuming--especially when our classes are only 8 weeks long. That's some expedient paper writing, project completing, and test studying right there. From February to March, I took Discourse Analysis and Semantics and Pragmatics. And I am currently taking Cross-Cultural Teaching Seminar, Advanced Grammatical Analysis, and Theory and Practice of Translation. Whew! All good things though and extremely relevant to Bible translation.
In all that spare time I've had, though, God's been teaching me some pretty incredible life lessons as well. As most of you know, I'm getting married on December 29, 2012! Woohoo! But, since Don is currently in Papua New Guinea doing linguistic research until July, I've had to go about preparing for marriage in ways other than just talking to him. A few months ago, I did some searching online for some marriage books, and after reading some reviews, I picked up a copy of For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn, Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge, and The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. And, I picked up a copy of that little book full of wisdom I like to call Proverbs.
I'd like to take a blog or two to record some of the little tidbits God's revealed to me over these last few months. That way, when the going gets tough in marriage, the tough will just get going back to her blog and remind herself of how she's supposed to be acting. ;) Enjoy!
Spring term started on February 9, and my last post was on February 11. That should tell you something: graduate school is all-consuming--especially when our classes are only 8 weeks long. That's some expedient paper writing, project completing, and test studying right there. From February to March, I took Discourse Analysis and Semantics and Pragmatics. And I am currently taking Cross-Cultural Teaching Seminar, Advanced Grammatical Analysis, and Theory and Practice of Translation. Whew! All good things though and extremely relevant to Bible translation.
In all that spare time I've had, though, God's been teaching me some pretty incredible life lessons as well. As most of you know, I'm getting married on December 29, 2012! Woohoo! But, since Don is currently in Papua New Guinea doing linguistic research until July, I've had to go about preparing for marriage in ways other than just talking to him. A few months ago, I did some searching online for some marriage books, and after reading some reviews, I picked up a copy of For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn, Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge, and The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. And, I picked up a copy of that little book full of wisdom I like to call Proverbs.
I'd like to take a blog or two to record some of the little tidbits God's revealed to me over these last few months. That way, when the going gets tough in marriage, the tough will just get going back to her blog and remind herself of how she's supposed to be acting. ;) Enjoy!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Hartford is a Home
I wrote this essay last year after returning from a summer working as an intern for a day camp with Hartford City Mission. I thought it would provide a nice break from the PNG and 2011 blogs. :)
Connecticut is
the wealthiest state in the nation.
Hartford—it’s capital—is one of the top five poorest cities in the
nation. The demographics of the North
End of Hartford: 85% African American, 15% West Indian. One in every three of the city’s residents
lives below the poverty line. In the
North End, two of every five. The murder
rate in Hartford is five times the national average.
“City Limits –
Hartford, Connecticut.” The skyline looks normal. Just an
average city. Main Street—looking
for Main Street. Ugh…where is it? Main Street.
M…M…Mo…Monroe. Darn it. Not it.
M…Main! The car quickly veers
to the right as we head up what obviously used to be the main thoroughfare in
Hartford. “Welcome to the North End
Neighborhood,” the sign reads. “Jamaican
Bakery.” “Caribbean Furniture.” These aren’t exactly chain stores. It’s
okay. Just one of those little
differences. Albany. Albany Avenue. Oh, here it is. “Whoa! Mom! Slow down!”
The car screeches to a halt. My mom cautiously drives down Albany
Avenue or as those in the North End like to call it, “The Ave.”. I think
we are the only white people in this entire neighborhood. Another convenience store. How
many is that—8? A liquor store. A Jamaican
bakery. A giant white church sits on the corner of the intersection. Vine
Street—there it is. We take a right
at the intersection, pausing for pedestrians to make their way across the
street. Not so bad. Lots of trees, houses. Less commercialized. I can do this. This is my street. I could live here. Nerves are calming. I swallow deeply as I
continue to scan the streets for my future home. Okay. Look for Edgewood. Vine and Edgewood. And...I flip through papers and printed
out emails looking for the address. 280.
280 Vine Street.
The car
slowed. I mentally debated on the
parking choice. Vine Street it was. I stared up at the big, red house that stood
proudly in front of me. Deep breath
in. Men on the porch next door. Just talking. Innocent enough. “Mom, will you get my pants from the
trunk?” I slipped on the pair of pants over my shorts. You can
never be too careful in a place like this. I slowly, cautiously, opened my
door. Observe your surroundings.
Always. I looked down
Edgewood. It seemed quiet. Nothing extraordinary happening on an overcast
day in June. Just people on
porches. As a walked up the sidewalk, I
looked up again at the big, red house. Hartford City Mission. This was my home—but just for the summer. I can
do anything for a summer. I walked
up the steps of the front porch, one by one.
I rang the door bell. The door
opened. I stepped inside.
Camp Noah was in
full swing. Two weeks down. Six to go.
My Groovy Green group was absolute chaos every day, but what group of
six six-year-olds isn’t chaotic? I
finally started to get their names down.
Rekaya—adorable, quiet. A
cuddler. She sucks her thumb. Bladder problem—let her go if she asks. Nicolas—super smart, talks all the time,
independent, always hungry. Gets mad if
he doesn’t get a Hershey kiss during the Spotlight Game. Sharoy—little red glasses make his eyes
bigger. Looks at you over the top of his
glasses with his lazy eye. So
smart. Lisp. Perfectionist. Bawls if he gets a question wrong. Anthony—quiet, silent leader, always a good
listener, nervous personality. He
stutters if he has to talk in front of the group. Chauncey—tough, raspy voice, really strong,
wants to be obedient. Group drill
sergeant. Preferred method of getting others in the group to obey:
shouting. Marvin—joyful, loving,
stronger than he realizes. He’s a 100
lb. six year-old. Likes to embellish the
truth about everything. Raekwon— Loving,
kind, gentle. Gives me hugs at the
beginning of every day. Disobeys to get
attention at times. Gave me a beaded
necklace that he made during craft station last week. He’s not one of my Groovy Greeners. Eleven years old, in fact. He’s with the Ragin’ Red.
Another tiring week
of camp—coming to an end. I park my car
on the street in front of the big, red house. Gathering my things, I glance
across the street to the apartment building where drug activity persists. He walks in.
The door shuts. I stand in the
yard watching, pretending to fiddle with my things. The second-hand ticks: one-o-two,
one-o-three, one-. There he goes. A mom sits on the front porch step watching
dozens of children play in the yard. One
boy plays alone, only a stick in hand.
He bangs each rung of the wrought-iron fence as he paces back and
forth. “Hi, Miss Kelsey,” he calls from
across the street. “Hi, Raekwon. How are
you?” “Good.” He says as his voice trails off into the distance. I walk up the white front porch steps. It
can’t possibly be true. Or could it? Could he be that hardened to the world and to
his emotions? It has only been one month
since it happened. I fumble through
my purse looking for the keys, open the door, and walk inside.
One week ago—he gave me a hug and asked
how my weekend was. I told him what I
did Friday blabbering on about trivial things: movies, friends, beaches, and
birthdays. Then, he cut me off. “I went
to a funeral Friday.” Well, that’s not
what I expected. “Uh oh. Well, that’s
not good. For who?” “My dad.” I swallow hard trying to wrap my mind around what he has
just said. “Your dad!? Raekwon, I’m so sorry. What happened?” “He got shot.” Shot!? How
could he be so matter of fact? “I was in the newspaper. I’ll hafta bring it on Monday.” “You mean, you were in his obituary?”
“Yeah, they spelled my name wrong though—with a q-u. I’ll bring you the
little book thing from his funeral on Monday too—if my mom lets me.” There’s no truth in it at all for him. There can’t be—he’s gotta survive in this
place.
I slowly carry
my things up the stairs. How is he really? My mind wanders.
It’s the
shootings that make the news.
The
drug busts.
Only
crime and criminals,
but
Hartford is a home.
It’s not just a story to Raekwon. His father’s murder is the truth. He
knows the truth.
It’s me. The problem is me. I
only know stories.
They are all just stories. News segments.
Not people.
Not
fathers.
Not sons.
Just statistics. Dangerous ones.
Ones that make Hartford a home—“but just
for the summer.”
I put my things
down on the table and turn on the TV, looking for some relaxation and relief
from such a long week. The television
blares, “In other news, another man was murdered in Hartford last night on the
corner of Garden and Capen streets…”
But, Hartford is a home.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
PNG Realization #2: I'm no conversationalist
I've always prided myself on my ability to step into social situations with new people and facilitate fairly normal, low-awkwardness-level conversations. Well, as is usually the case, God has a funny way of humbling us, doesn't He?
Before ever arriving in PNG, Martha had told me that my two goals for the trip were 1) To survive and 2) To learn some Tok Pisin. So, naturally, I had made it my mission to spend time talking with nationals on my trip out to the bush so that I would learn some Tok Pisin. However, this mission proved to be a bit more impossible than I had first thought.
The PMV that we took from town to the river.
On the very first day, I made it my goal to talk to the two young girls who had come along on the trip from town to the village to watch over me. But, I sat, and I sat, and I sat thinking of a question to ask them. You see, in America, we like to make small talk with strangers (especially children and teens) by asking questions like "How old are you?", "What grade are you in?", "What's your favorite subject in school?", "What are your hobbies?" But, almost none of these questions are relevant in the PNG context. I felt completely lost as to how to even begin a conversation. I had nothing in common with them. They didn't really keep track of dates and ages like we do; most of them have never even been to school (if they have, it was only grades 1 and 2), and they spend their days cooking, getting firewood, washing dishes and clothes. So, you know what I did? I went to bed. I couldn't do it. I felt so confused and lost in this culture that was so radically different from mine. I had no point with which to relate to them, so I didn't.
Even though I failed on my first day, after a few days in the village, I realized that Papua New Guineans don't really do conversation the way we do it at all. They don't ask questions. After all, direct questions are horribly intrusive. Instead, they make statements. And, if the other speaker wants to elaborate on the statement, they can. If not, they won't. It's kinda nice, but it also kinda feels weird.
For example, when I came back to the village with this pile of firewood on my head, the villagers looked at me and started a conversation with me like this, "Kelsey, yu go lo bus na kisim paiawut, nau yu kam bek," or in English, "Kelsey, you went to the jungle and got firewood, and now you came back." It kinda makes you feel like, "Ummm...yeah? That's what I did. And...why are you telling me what I already know?" Or, as Lynn Landweer, a sociolinguistic surveyor and professor of mine who served in PNG for about 20 years, put it, it makes you feel like "they are the champions of all that is obvious."
But, this new way of conversation ended up being one of the most entertaining and easy parts of my language learning. I always had something to say! I could tell someone exactly what they had done, and it was a perfect way to practice my Tok Pisin in a totally acceptable and predictable way! And, though I had begun as a horribly confused conversationalist, by the end of my time, I could state the completely obvious with the best of them.
See?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
PNG Realization: I'm no Martha Stewart
Among the many things I learned during my time in Papua New Guinea, one of the most salient realizations was that I am no Martha Stewart when it comes to the kitchen.
And, that was the end of that task. Don did the job instead. Ouch. Just what you always wanted as a fiance--having your significant other do the cooking tasks because he can do them better. Don't worry, Don. I'll learn someday, and I'll make you a good wife! ;)
When I arrived in the village with PBT missionaries Martha and Lindy, I was expecting it to be very "bush", or primitive in other words. As it turned out, Martha did have a bush house, but it was more westernized than I had expected. She had a refrigerator, a freezer, a stove, an oven, and running water! How fantastic! There was going to be less of a learning curve to this bush living than I thought. Little did I know that even with these modern conveniences, I would soon reveal just how inadequate my cooking skills were.
During my week's stay in Martha's house, she and Lindy gave me various cooking tasks: making coleslaw and soup, baking cookies, brownies, and mock apple pie. And, just about every one of them turned out to be a disaster. For now, I'll focus only on two disasters for the sake of my own self-esteem.
Let's start with the coleslaw. The day before we left her house, Martha told me to use the extra cabbage and carrots in the refrigerator to make some coleslaw for dinner. So, I said, "That's fine as long you can show me how to chop the cabbage." (Luckily, I had just seen Lindy peel and grate the carrots earlier in the week for a salad. Whew! I'd never in my life bought regular carrots. I've always bought those cute, baby ones in the plastic bag. At least after watching her, I didn't have to embarrass myself by asking her to show me how to cut those too!) Even still, Martha looked at me over her glasses in utter disbelief and disappointment, "You've never made coleslaw before?" "No? We just buy ours at KFC..."
And, that was the end of that task. Don did the job instead. Ouch. Just what you always wanted as a fiance--having your significant other do the cooking tasks because he can do them better. Don't worry, Don. I'll learn someday, and I'll make you a good wife! ;)
And how about that mock apple pie? Well, Martha gave me the crust recipe and the pie filling recipe, and I got busy cutting up the green papaya. I made up the dough and having watched Don roll out a pie crust just a few days before (after Lindy had given him some pointers like putting wax paper over the dough to roll it), I got started. I rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled...and the wax paper got wrinkled and ripped. So I got new paper, and I rolled and rolled and rolled. And, the paper kept walking all over the table. And, every time I put up the dough to the pan, it was still to small. But, it was paper thin! You could literally see through it! What the heck!? So, I asked Don, "Did you have this much trouble when you rolled the dough the other day?" And, he said, "Well, I mean, it did take a while." So, I rolled and rolled some more. After about an hour of rolling, I gave up and just put it in there and got started on the top layer of the pie. The same story. When all was said and done, the pie was in the pan but it was about a half an inch from the rim and a half an inch from the side of pan. Oops! It turns out that I hadn't read the title of the recipe which said, "Single pie crust". Well, actually, I had read it, but I didn't know that "single" meant that you should double it if you were putting a top on the pie. Oops. Martha's response to my blunder? "Well, it'll eat. I guess I just didn't realize how hard this lifestyle was for your generation."
Ouch. And, the worst part about it? She's absolutely right. We have so many conveniences in the States like store-bought pie crust, pre-cut cabbage and carrots, and pre-made cole slaw. I have to admit, it's nice for life here; it makes cooking so much faster. But, those little conveniences aren't available in Papua New Guinea. So, you know what? There's no denying it. I'm no Martha Stewart in the kitchen, but I'll learn, and in the meantime, it'll eat.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
2011 in Review: Blog #2 How I Ended Up in Dallas
Just for today, I will take a brief respite from the PNG blogs and resume the 2011 in Review blogs. For many of you, my move to Dallas in July came rather abruptly. In all honestly, it came abruptly for me too. If you're still confused on how it all transpired, here's the back story.
In March, one of the girls in my Bible study announced that she was going to Thailand on a summer missions trip to work with human trafficking victims. At the time, I felt like God was calling me to support her financially with a gift that would require faith on my part, but I later convinced myself that I was only trying to solve her problems myself. So, I waited about a month and half.
When she still needed support at the end of April, and I still felt called to give, I got online and gave her a third all the money I had at the time. I knew I was going to graduate in two weeks, and I thought I was going to be working, paying student loans, and fund raising for PNG, so giving to her trip was definitely a growing experience for me. But, once I gave, I was overwhelmed with joy. I was so excited to get to take part in that ministry with her through my investment. And, I was so blessed by the realization that God would provide for me when I put my faith in him. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at the internet window showing my receipt.
Throughout my life, I have gone on several missions trips. Whenever it came time to fund raise, I always felt bad. I felt like people were tired of my asking for money. But, most of the organizations that I worked with required you to fund raise because they wanted to equip the rest of the members of the body to be able to serve with us. After giving to Sara's trip to Thailand, I finally understood that idea and began to understand just how much God truly does bless givers.
Two weeks later, right after I graduated from college, I headed out on a trip to California to visit Don and meet his family. The day that I was supposed to leave, I was at my brother's office in St. Louis getting ready to head to the airport. I checked my email for some flight info, and I had a new message in my inbox that read "Update on Graduate Scholar Award". I looked at Chad and said, "Oh, this is just an email telling me I didn't get a scholarship I applied for." And, Chad looked and said, "Umm...that email says 'Congratulations'." And, I said, "Chad! That's a $10,000 scholarship!" And, he looked and said, "Umm...that email says $20,000!" Apparently, they had chosen to give top winners double the amount.
Needless to say, I was speechless. Immediately, I knew it was God's provision. The website for the honor society had said that they would notify winners in April, here it was May 10, and they were just now notifying people. Not coincidentally, they were notifying me after I had finally been obedient with my finances at the very end of April. Also, I had seen nothing on the website about doubling the amount for top winners, but it just so happened that amount would be enough for an entire year of living expenses and tuition for graduate school.
After the shock and elation at God's provision, I was at a loss as to what to do next because I didn't think I was going to graduate school. The next few weeks were filled with phone calls and emails to UCSB and to the honor society trying to figure out if I could still get into graduate school or if I could defer the scholarship. A few days later, I started thinking about the Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics (a school in Dallas which is designed specifically to prepare students to serve Bible translation) which I had looked into in the fall but decided not to apply to due to a lack of funding. Suddenly, that hurdle was behind me and funding wasn't an issue. So, a month and a half later, I moved to Dallas and became a student at GIAL preparing to go into Bible translation.
God truly does take care of his children.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
Matthew 6:33-34a
Remember how I told you that back in December of 2010 I got a phone call from a professor at the school in California telling me I was accepted to the school? Well, it turns out that that was a little miscommunication. This was the first year that they decided to invite students out BEFORE they were accepted, and we had to go through one-on-one interviews with the professors to determine our acceptance. Oops!
Well, once I found that out, I knew that the biggest hindrance to my getting into grad school would be funding. I had received an invitation to join an international honor society in December, but I didn't want to pay the $85 application fee unless I thought I would be able to justify the investment. I saw that they had a $10,000 graduate school scholarship. I was pretty sure my chances of getting it were thin, but it would be worth the $85 if I did get it! :) So, I joined the society in December and applied for the scholarship on January 15. Then, after hearing that I was not one of the 6 students that they had accepted to the university in March, I thought that I had applied in vain because I wasn't going to go to grad school. So, I looked into other options for a year before I would reapply to graduate schools, and I started making plans to work as a short-term assistant with PBT in PNG while Don did fieldwork for 7 months.
In March, one of the girls in my Bible study announced that she was going to Thailand on a summer missions trip to work with human trafficking victims. At the time, I felt like God was calling me to support her financially with a gift that would require faith on my part, but I later convinced myself that I was only trying to solve her problems myself. So, I waited about a month and half.
When she still needed support at the end of April, and I still felt called to give, I got online and gave her a third all the money I had at the time. I knew I was going to graduate in two weeks, and I thought I was going to be working, paying student loans, and fund raising for PNG, so giving to her trip was definitely a growing experience for me. But, once I gave, I was overwhelmed with joy. I was so excited to get to take part in that ministry with her through my investment. And, I was so blessed by the realization that God would provide for me when I put my faith in him. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at the internet window showing my receipt.
Throughout my life, I have gone on several missions trips. Whenever it came time to fund raise, I always felt bad. I felt like people were tired of my asking for money. But, most of the organizations that I worked with required you to fund raise because they wanted to equip the rest of the members of the body to be able to serve with us. After giving to Sara's trip to Thailand, I finally understood that idea and began to understand just how much God truly does bless givers.
Two weeks later, right after I graduated from college, I headed out on a trip to California to visit Don and meet his family. The day that I was supposed to leave, I was at my brother's office in St. Louis getting ready to head to the airport. I checked my email for some flight info, and I had a new message in my inbox that read "Update on Graduate Scholar Award". I looked at Chad and said, "Oh, this is just an email telling me I didn't get a scholarship I applied for." And, Chad looked and said, "Umm...that email says 'Congratulations'." And, I said, "Chad! That's a $10,000 scholarship!" And, he looked and said, "Umm...that email says $20,000!" Apparently, they had chosen to give top winners double the amount.
Needless to say, I was speechless. Immediately, I knew it was God's provision. The website for the honor society had said that they would notify winners in April, here it was May 10, and they were just now notifying people. Not coincidentally, they were notifying me after I had finally been obedient with my finances at the very end of April. Also, I had seen nothing on the website about doubling the amount for top winners, but it just so happened that amount would be enough for an entire year of living expenses and tuition for graduate school.
After the shock and elation at God's provision, I was at a loss as to what to do next because I didn't think I was going to graduate school. The next few weeks were filled with phone calls and emails to UCSB and to the honor society trying to figure out if I could still get into graduate school or if I could defer the scholarship. A few days later, I started thinking about the Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics (a school in Dallas which is designed specifically to prepare students to serve Bible translation) which I had looked into in the fall but decided not to apply to due to a lack of funding. Suddenly, that hurdle was behind me and funding wasn't an issue. So, a month and a half later, I moved to Dallas and became a student at GIAL preparing to go into Bible translation.
God truly does take care of his children.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
Matthew 6:33-34a
Sunday, January 15, 2012
New Life Took Root in Samun
Hey Guys!
I am back in town for one more day, but I haven't had time to process through everything and blog about it. Also, the Internet isn't good enough to upload pictures. When I was in Umsa I had the opportunity to go on a night hike to another village where a baptism was being held. Martha asked me to write about my experience for another organization's newsletter, so I thought I would share it with you all in the meantime. Enjoy! I can't wait to share pictures and write more!
It was 4:00 in the morning, and the only light that shone before me was the dim, fluorescent glow of my flashlight as we hiked through the jungle on our way to the village of Samun. This being my first time in Papua New Guinea, my feet were not well-accustomed to the muddy, root-covered terrain. Every step across the muddy soil and the tree log bridges was slow and measured. We hiked for two hours with seemingly no sign of light, but we emerged from the jungle just in time to catch the sun’s first appearance on the horizon.
As we approached Samun, we trekked across the dry soil and the gray, scorched remains of tree trunks that framed the village gardens. It was a place of new birth in the midst of cold, dark, death: tiny green leaves sprouted up in the midst of the desolation. As we crossed through the garden, our feet hurried their pace to catch up to the rhythm of the songs sung by what seemed like a choir of angels. The harmonies of hundreds of Papua New Guineans from dozens of villages filled the air, being lifted up as a fragrant offering before the Lord of heaven and earth.
When we got to the water’s edge, the sight was breathtaking. There before me stood hundreds of Papua New Guineans singing praises to God as their friends and relatives prepared to be baptized. A flower-adorned cross stood up above the water’s current beckoning for each to come and receive new life. Cries of “Oh, Papa!” pierced the morning air as the Spirit moved in the repentant hearts of the children of the King.
Jeffrie, a Papua New Guinean man from the village of Angguna, shared a message about the Great Commission and Jesus’ command to make disciples of every nation, baptizing them just as he was baptized by John in the Jordan. And, one by one, 34 Papua New Guineans followed his example and went down in the river, identifying with him in his death and being raised to new life.
With each baptism, I began to see that even the earth reflects the glory of the Lord every time He redeems one more child back to himself. I began to realize that I had already seen a glimpse what the morning was to hold before I ever reached the water’s edge—just as morning dawned in this small village of Papua New Guinea, the tiny leaves in the desolate garden spread wide open to receive the sun’s light, and new life took root in Samun.
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